The View from the Porch Swing

Sit a spell, kick your shoes off...we'll chat about life and love and God and all the things that matter most.

Friday, August 27, 2004

Meltdown

Megan had another one of her "spells" yesterday where she becomes more and more manic/hyper/agitated. During these times she will do what she wants and any attempts to stop her result in a meltdown to rival Chernobyl. That is definitely what happened last evening.

I told the kids to warm up leftovers for dinner because the refrigerator was full of them. Megan got it into her head that she was not eating anything in the refrigerator. She wanted Ramen noodles instead. I explained to her that she was not going to cook something else, because the food in the frig needed to be eaten....besides, she'd had Ramen the day before and I ended up dumping most of it in the disposal.

KABOOM!!

Megan ranted and screamed and it went downhill fast from there. At one point I was guarding the backdoor and Matt was at the frontdoor to keep her from leaving. She wasn't running away, she said. She'd just packed her things and was going to a friend's for the night. Riiiight.

I said all the good mommy things about how much I love her (and had it thrown back in my face) and eventually she calmed down. It had nothing at all to do with my parenting skills. She simply ran out of steam. Through it all she blamed me for her behavior. If I'd just given in and let her have the stupid noodles, she said, she wouldn't have acted like that. She is always saying things about how I say or do things that I know are going to make her mad and how I should just not do them.

So is it me? Am I the problem? Is she really out of control? Or does she act like this on purpose to push me to the brink and get what she wants?

I read Psalm 127 & 128 this morning and they say that children are a gift from God (I agree). The author of the accompanying devotion said that means if we want to do our best with them we have to be in a close relationship with God. I'm working on that. I try to be faithful and make decisions based on the Bible, but it sure doesn't seem to make any difference. My beautiful daughter is so full of ugly stuff like hurt, anger, hate and rage. Where on earth is it coming from? Why can't I make it go away?

6 Comments:

At August 27, 2004 at 10:24 AM, Blogger Paul said...

Wow Stacy, I just posted "A Heart of A Child" this morning to Hill Country Thoughts and then I just came to your porch swing.

Raising kids are is really tuff in this day and time and I know what it is like when you go though those times and wonder where in the blue blazes did that anger, words and things come from.

I know with my oldest daughter, who is 27 now, she is a nurse, went through some times like this and when she got mad, she said things that were like knifes that cut deep into my heart, and the thing is, is I know that she didn't mean them, even though they come from her mouth and got to realize how we must appear to our heavenly father sometimes, how we greive His heart.

I don't think it is you, I think it is part of what is going on in our world in this day and time and the only thing we can do is pray and trust God. I can't remember how old you said your daughter was.

Like I shared in my post today, the only thing that you can do is pray, pray and pray some more and trust the Lord and not allow the enemy to convine you that your a bad mom, etc. I know the enemy tried that trick on me many a times.

I will keep your daughter in my prayers and that the Lord will give your husband and you the wisdom as how to handle things.

Be blessed my friend.

Paul

 
At August 27, 2004 at 12:21 PM, Blogger Amy said...

Hi, I just came across your blog. Sounds like you have your hands full, but her behavior is definitely not because of you!! Sounds like you are doing all the "right" things. Hang in there! I recommend Dr. Ray Guarendi's website, www.drray.com. He is a Catholic family psychologist, and one of the funniest, wisest parenting 'experts' I have ever heard. He is incredibly encouraging. You can listen to his talk show over the internet. Whatever you do, don't give in!! Hang in there! God bless you and your family.

 
At August 27, 2004 at 1:30 PM, Blogger Beth said...

I hate that recording in my head that says "you're such a bad mom". But all I know is parenting is tough and it sounds like you are doing what you can for her. I will be praying for you both.

 
At August 27, 2004 at 5:20 PM, Blogger Michael said...

I will be praying for all of you.

 
At August 27, 2004 at 6:40 PM, Blogger bobcom said...

Hey Stacy,

Having never been a mom I don't exactly know how you are feeling - but I imagine that its like a lot of inside dialogue which tell us how bad we are when something like this happens.

To me a great mom is someone who cares about her children, Someone who is always reflecting and someone who is praying for her children. You do! To me, that makes you a great Mom. You may be having these troubles (not meaning to trivalise it) and not a lot of answers, but I believe it will come right in the end because of your faith and love.

You know that children can't always help their actions due to the stuff inside of them and will not always react to you despite your best intentions - But they still love you! Keep doing what you are doing and we'll keep praying for you!

 
At August 27, 2004 at 9:21 PM, Blogger Stacy said...

Thanks everyone for all your advice, love, encouragement and prayers. You guys rock!!

 

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