The View from the Porch Swing

Making It Official

2004-09-06T15:21:00.000-05:00

I'm retiring from blogging. My heart just isn't in it these days and I'm finding that I feel like I could be making much better use of my time. For those of you I read, I'll most likely still stop by from time to time.

Thanks for all the love, support and fun over the last three years. You guys rock and I love you all!

Russian Hostage Crisis

2004-09-03T10:08:00.000-05:00

I was about to post a brief rant about something I just watched on Dr. Phil. Then ABC News broke interrupted regular broadcasting to show the latest images from the school in Russia where students, teachers and parents have been held hostage for days.

So far there are over 100 known dead and 344 have been hospitalized. Those numbers may climb significantly. Apparently the government says there were 500 hostages in the building. The hostages coming out are saying it is more like 1500. The images are horrifying and reporters say they can still hear explosions every so often.

Another concern is that some of the militants are apparently putting themselves among the hostages and authorities are having trouble finding them.

My heart and prayers go out to the families affected, to the rescue workers, police and to the town. I can't even imagine how devastating it would be to have that happen in a school in my own community. May God be with them all.

Clutch is in the house....and other pet woes.

2004-09-02T11:37:00.000-05:00

Life may never be the same.

We are down to one naughty little kitten, who goes by the name of Clutch (like the auto part). The other two, Blizzard and Tigger, have abandoned us over the last few weeks. Moved on to greener pastures, I guess. I try to look appropriately broken hearted for Megan's benefit, but in truth am rather relieved. I really didn't want any cats at this time, let alone three.

Now that there is just Clutch, he has gotten rather attached to us and us to him. He's a rather small, grey tiger with a very pretty face. He and our poodle are great pals, wrestling and chasing each other all over the yard and deck. The problem with all this attachment and warm, fuzzy feelings is that it would be a real disaster if Clutch left us now. Being the only cat outside there was a pretty good chance that eventually he'd get tired of it and move on. Soooo........last night I gathered up my courage (Tim is NOT a cat person) and asked if we might consider bringing Clutch into the house. To my surprise, he said it would be fine.

This morning I stopped at the dollar store and bought all the things a kitty needs to feel at home....or at least to do his business in the proper way....and took the big leap. Scooby is thrilled to have his buddy in the house. They played hard for the last hour or so and now they are curled up together on the sofa snoozing. They're so cute! Now we just have to wait and see if Clutch knows what to do with the litter box. He kept going in there and playing in the litter, but he hasn't "used" it yet. I've never had to train a cat before. I hope it goes well or Tim may revoke his approval.

One pet hurdle down and one to go. Abby. The poor old thing was in horrible shape when we got her from the shelter last year (they lied to me about her condition). Back then she had a tumor in a mammary gland, dry eyes, a skin condition and needed surgery on both back knees. She still needs surgery (Tim wasn't going to approve $1000 surgery for the dog), the original tumor is still there and now she has a really large one in her armpit. She doesn't get around well and for the last week or so she's been peeing in the house. A lot. She never used to so I don't think she can help it. We're trying to get her out more often but with the kids back in school and me back to work..... I think it's getting to be time to let her go. Poor old thing. She's had a hard little doggie life.

Lunch with Aunt Peg

2004-09-01T10:42:00.000-05:00

I took my elderly aunt out to lunch yesterday. We used to be very close after my dad died, but as the kids have gotten older and life has gotten busier and busier, I kind of drifted away. I've always felt guilty about it and always promised myself over and over to do better, but life always seemed to get in the way.

Yesterday she started talking to me about how great she has it and how she doesn't have to worry about anything. Her two sons (neither of whom live nearby) pay all her bills, take care of anything that comes up and all she has to do is ask if she wants money. I think she was trying to convince herself more than me how great her life is. Why? Because as we continued talking over lunch several things came out...

1. She is helping to work on a quilt for the historical society and dreads its completion because working on it helps fill her days.

2. She feels trapped in her house..."I'm just supposed to stay here till I die."

3. She is bored and has no purpose.

4. She misses her husband and brother (my dad) who have been gone 5 and 11 years. She wishes she'd die, too.

She's had a few small strokes over the last couple of years that most likely contribute to her mental state, but no matter the cause, when she lets her guard down, she's unhappy. It got me thinking. My cousins are doing all the "right" things and I'm sure they believe they're taking good care of their mom. It's just funny how doing the right thing can be the wrong thing. They're killing her spirit with kindness. My aunt was a strong woman her whole life, very detail oriented....a micro manager. They've taken away part of the core of who she is.

I can't change any of that, but I'm going to find the time to do things with her somehow. I can at least be a diversion and provide something to fill her days.

Off to a "Great" Start

2004-08-30T09:29:00.000-05:00

Looks like the computer is going to let me play today, so thought I'd tell you about the first morning of school.

1. It rained.

2. I got to work early so I'd have plenty of time to get my stuff situated on the bus and do my pre-trip check.

3. My boss didn't get to work early.

4. My high school run has a lot more kids this year. They are sitting three to a seat in many cases. They are not happy.

5. We were 10 minutes late getting to the school....because the kids were being snots about letting other kids sit with them. It was intimidating for the 6th graders on their first day.

6. There are about 20 less kids on my elementary run this year. Nice, as the elementary kids are the hardest to control. They tend to be hyper and loud all the time. The high school kids just have "moments."

7. I lost air pressure for the air brakes on my bus half way through the elementary run.

8. It took 15 minutes for another bus to come pick up the kids and finish my run (I didn't get to see half my kids yet).

9. It took an hour for the mechanics to come.

10. I got back to the garage an hour and a half late.

And that's only half the day! I can hardly wait to see what this afternoon brings. :oP

Still Here

2004-08-29T16:02:00.000-05:00

Nothing much to say today, but I wanted to let you all know I'm still here....hanging on by a mouse cord (rather than a thread).

It's hot today. And humid. Hot and humid. The kind of day when doing nothing makes you break a sweat. It's too hot to do anything. So, what have we been doing? Yard work. It needed done and the kids and I head back to school tomorrow so the labor pool will be greatly reduced. I feel ready for the morning. The yard is spruced up, papers are filled out and lying in piles on the table for the kids, clothes have been chosen (and approved) and await, lunch money has been counted out, all my bus forms, charts and information sheets are organized and filed in my notebook. Before bed I'll set the table for breakfast since I leave just as the kids are waking up. Yeah, I'm ready.

FYI

2004-08-28T18:34:00.000-05:00

My computer is acting like it's grinding down to die (again). I just wanted to give you all a heads up in case I disappear. If it comes to that, I don't know how long I'll be gone. We need a new computer, but it isn't one of our highest priorities right now.....and I'm not sure that I'll come back to blogging even with a new computer. If I do, the time I spend at it will be greatly reduced. I've really been feeling like I need to get away from it. I've saved everyone's addresses, though, so I'll always be able to find ya!

Meltdown

2004-08-27T08:45:00.000-05:00

Megan had another one of her "spells" yesterday where she becomes more and more manic/hyper/agitated. During these times she will do what she wants and any attempts to stop her result in a meltdown to rival Chernobyl. That is definitely what happened last evening.

I told the kids to warm up leftovers for dinner because the refrigerator was full of them. Megan got it into her head that she was not eating anything in the refrigerator. She wanted Ramen noodles instead. I explained to her that she was not going to cook something else, because the food in the frig needed to be eaten....besides, she'd had Ramen the day before and I ended up dumping most of it in the disposal.

KABOOM!!

Megan ranted and screamed and it went downhill fast from there. At one point I was guarding the backdoor and Matt was at the frontdoor to keep her from leaving. She wasn't running away, she said. She'd just packed her things and was going to a friend's for the night. Riiiight.

I said all the good mommy things about how much I love her (and had it thrown back in my face) and eventually she calmed down. It had nothing at all to do with my parenting skills. She simply ran out of steam. Through it all she blamed me for her behavior. If I'd just given in and let her have the stupid noodles, she said, she wouldn't have acted like that. She is always saying things about how I say or do things that I know are going to make her mad and how I should just not do them.

So is it me? Am I the problem? Is she really out of control? Or does she act like this on purpose to push me to the brink and get what she wants?

I read Psalm 127 & 128 this morning and they say that children are a gift from God (I agree). The author of the accompanying devotion said that means if we want to do our best with them we have to be in a close relationship with God. I'm working on that. I try to be faithful and make decisions based on the Bible, but it sure doesn't seem to make any difference. My beautiful daughter is so full of ugly stuff like hurt, anger, hate and rage. Where on earth is it coming from? Why can't I make it go away?

Getting back in the swing...

2004-08-26T07:39:00.000-05:00

and I don't mean the porch swing. With only 4 days left until school starts, I'm trying to get back on the schedule of early to rise and early to bed. Made it to bed by 11:00 last night and was up at 7:30 this morning. Not bad, it's the best I've done in weeks, but I've got to do better. Starting Monday, I'll be getting up at 4:30 with Tim so I can be at work by 6:15.

Orientation for work was this week. I'm one of the lucky ones. I still have both my elementary and high school bus runs. There are just a few new kids and stops to add. Many of the runs changed a lot this year or drivers had to swap one of them with another driver because of the shrinking student body in the district. For the school to get all of its government reimbursement money all of the runs have to have roughly the same amount of kids. Even though it may mean some runs are incredibly short and others very long the government wants the same amount of kids (roughly) on each bus. That might work now at the beginning of the year, but hello.....during the school year kids transfer on and off the buses like crazy. The counts change from week to week sometimes.

The other big change this year is security/privacy. Each year we're given a thick packet of papers that include a list of bus stops and times, the students who get on at the stops, all the personal info for each student (including medical/emotional info if it could affect the bus ride), discipline slips, boarding passes, and this year with the advent of all-day kindergarden it also includes list of people approved to pick up the kindergarden child. In the past, route sheets and student lists were kept out handy where we could get at them. This year they gave us a manilla envelope and told us everything of a personal nature must be kept inside and out of sight. Maybe it's just me, but I'd think it would be more effective camouflage if it didn't have a great big sticker on the front that says "Confidential Material Enclosed." If some pervert or parent (that happened last year) is out to abduct a child and is rifling through the papers on the bus, don't you think they might suspect what they're looking for is there? Anywhooo...that's our great security change. That and no more reading a student's phone number over the radio to the office when there is no one waiting for the child. The office will now have all that information on its end so no pervert can pick it up on a scanner. Never mind that it will make life much easier for the drivers, who used to have to pull their bus over and dig through papers to find the kid's number and read it to the office.

Grumping about changes aside, I'm ready to go back. Driving a school bus is a great part-time job. It gives me time home during the day and I'm here for my kids in the evening, on the weekends, holidays and vacations. Short of going back to school and getting a teaching degree, what else will give me that? Oh, ok, I forgot about lunch lady, but I've tried that. It is so not for me. I also like all the contact with the kids. Believe it or not, driving a school bus can be a great ministry. I'm with those kids every day, year after year. I have more chances to have some influence on them than anyone else in the school system. Don't let anyone kid you, that all a bus driver does is drive. That may be true in some places but in our district we are a major part of the program and have a lot of responsibility and freedom when it comes to handling problems. We have to be a disiplinarian, a teacher, a psychologist, an arbitrator, a friend, a detective, tough as nails, tender and understanding, part entertainer.....and we have to do it all while driving down the road in a 40ft. school bus with 50 or more kids behind our backs (and people wonder how a driver can not know when something awful is happening in the back)!

So, Monday morning say a prayer for everyone going back to school, including the bus drivers.

'Tis an honor

2004-08-25T09:40:00.000-05:00

I finished reading "A Wife After God's Own Heart" by Elizabeth George last week. It was so good and there was so much in it that I needed to learn that I just couldn't take my time. I tried to limit myself to one chapter a day. Sometimes I was successful, sometimes not. I'd just be like, oh wow, what she had to say about family was so amazing, I've just got to know what she says about finances...NOW!

I tried to apply what I was reading as I went along, but there is too much stuff to absorb it all at once or even to put something into practice at the speed I went through. So, now I am going back through it again, really thinking about the passages I highlighted the first time and at the end of each chapter George gives a list of very practical and doable exercises to help the reader begin applying what was just read about to marriage and life. I'm going to spend several days on each chapter this time through. I need at least that much time for the exercises to begin to be ingrained in my life.

The second chapter is about becoming and working as a team and is the chapter I'm currently digging into. This chapter clearly spells out the God-given roles of a husband and wife in marriage. It's nice to have guidelines spelled out and know what is expected. I'm the kind of person who needs that so I can refer back to it again and again. Back to the book, much of this chapter centers on the need for a wife to respect her husband. A lot of the other stuff will flow naturally out of this. Unfortunately, even though women are commanded to respect their husbands, it very often isn't something that comes naturally. And maybe in our casual society, it isn't even a skill that is taught in the family (just watch an episode of the Simpsons or even how the neighbor kids talk to their parents). Everyone craves it, demands it, even, but do we really know what it is? George's exercises at the end of chapter 2 offer a pretty good picture of the attitude behind respect.

TO DO:
1. Diligently thank and praise your husband for the things he does that fulfill his God-given role as head of the family-be specific.
2. Ask your husband two questions every day:
*What can I do for you today?
*How can I help you make better use of your time today?
3. Think of one fun thing to do with your husband this week...
AND DO IT! Let him know you value his company.

DO NOT:
1. Look away from him when he is talking. Look in his eyes. Focus on him and what he is saying.
2. Interrupt him.
3. Tell him to do things. ASK him.
4. Make negative comments about him when you are talking to others.

The motivation to apply these suggestions? They are all things that will build up a husband's confidence and encourage him to do better and anything that helps him be a better husband and leader of the family benefits and blesses the wife in the long run.

What constantly amazes me is how much depends on the wife fulfilling her role. She is the keystone, the glue, of the marriage and family, holding it all together. A man has many responsibilities, too, but not quite the pivitol role the woman has. That God trusts women with so much responsibility surely proves the great esteem in which He holds women. I don't know that I have ever before thanked God for making me a woman, but that is exactly how I am feeling this morning...grateful.

Jungle Rooms and Building Bridges

2004-08-23T21:44:00.000-05:00

Megan's room is finally finished. Her furniture is back in her room...and out of the livingroom...and Matt's room...and the hall...and the bathroom.

It turned out very nice and Meg is thrilled with it. She went from having a room that was a mish-mash of whatever had collected over the span of her life to something that looks like a finished product from Trading Spaces or as she says, the prettiest room in the house. Hmmm...based on that assessment guess I need to do some more fixing up around here.

She chose a jungle theme. I went with a slightly more sophisticated take, sort of a colonial India look, in the hope that she won't grow out of it right away. The walls are Lion's Mane gold with allspice glaze sponged over it (the rag rolling didn't work out). It looks kind of like distressed leather or parchment. She got new shelves and lamps that have animal prints and bead accents. I also put new framed prints of jungle animals up with metal sconces shaped like palm trees. New area rugs with palm trees are on the floor. A mosquito net hangs over the bed and a paper lantern hangs from the ceiling near the bookshelves. As a surprise I bought frames for Meg's prized Legolas (the elf from LOTR) posters and hung them today, along with an awesome drawing she did of a monkey this past year in school.

Tim and I went to the funeral home tonight. The mother of an elder from our old church's mother passed away. At one time we were good friends with the man and his family. Then the church politics got in the way and he and Tim came down on opposite sides of the issue. Tim hadn't seen him since right after Christmas and I hadn't seen him since February. It was kind of emotional going tonight. Tim never hesitated about going and he's been saying that he needed to talk with the man for a couple of months now, but it just never happened. Anyway, the long talk is still to come, but he and Tim shared a big hug (I got one, too) and a few laughs and at least now they both know the door is open and that any anger has passed.

The Steeler Game

2004-08-23T08:29:00.000-05:00

Awesome! Club seats are definitely the way to go...

Except for the fact that I will probably never be able to afford to plunk down the $200 in change each ticket cost on my own, so I am doomed to depend on the charity of others, who, finding themselves unable to attend a game for which they hold tickets, must find some deserving soul to bestow them on...

The luxury! We had to go through three seperate security gates to reach Club East where both our tickets and our wrists were stamped. Showing of both stamps was required for re-entry. One simply wouldn't do. Then the doors were opened and we were waved in to football heaven. The lounge ran the entire side of the stadium and was air conditioned. There were leather sofas, tables and chairs, a pool table, a big screen television, only one gift shop, several fully stocked bars, the usual food counters and chef's stations serving catered food items. Seats were out through glass doors. We were above the field level seats so had a clear view of the whole field, but close enough to not need binoculars. We were on the 35 yard line.

The game was great. The Steelers won 38-3. Kind of makes up for the last time they played Houston at home and lost 24-3 (or something like that), which was extremely embarassing because Houston set an NFL record that game for least offensive yards ever gained in a victory...47!

The fans, or at least some of them, left a lot to be desired. Tailgate parties are the norm before Steeler games and fans arrive hours before a game. Beer and mixed drinks are a major part of the party scene (a person has to literally pick their way through the empties to reach the stadium) and once inside, the $6/cup cost doesn't seem to slow anyone down. Behavior is not exactly exemplary. Among the things we were privileged to see...two arrests for what, we don't know; a young man urinating over the side of a bridge directly onto a walkway below, and receiving high-fives from passing motorists; a drunk puking over the railing in the nosebleed section onto a woman at the end of the row in our section; and a young "lady" engaged in a rather nasty argument which she apparently believed could be won by flashing her breasts repeatedly. No, can't say it's a place I want to take my kids. Too bad. They'd enjoy the game. Maybe when they're adults.

Nearly Forgot to Mention: One very cool thing that happened. During halftime, PNC bank presented its annual Joe Greene Excellent Performance award to one of the previous season's rookies. The young man who received it graciously thanked the bank who gives the award first, then turned to face the cameras and said all thanks was due to Jesus, who gave the greatest gift of all...eternal life. Way cool.

You have got to be kidding me...

2004-08-20T23:26:00.000-05:00

I can not believe the weird things I have to deal with sometimes and usually late at night or very early in the morning.

Scooby was scooting his dish around the kitchen just now. His not so subtle way of letting me know it's empty and he would like it filled, please. Now! So, out to the kitchen I trudge and just as I bend over and reach for the dish I notice...

Little black dots. Little black dots on the floor. Little black dots in the dogs' food dish. Little black dots in their water dish. Little black dots are everywhere!

What on earth are these little black dots?

The little black dots seem to be congregated around my Angel Trumpet plant. Hmmmm, a quick inspection of the plant reveals new chew holes in several leaves and two leaves completely gone but for the stem. Who, or more probably, what, could be eating my plant?

An inspection of the plant turned up nothing...until I lifted the very last leaf. Hanging there and happily munching away was the biggest, fuzziest, white caterpillar I've ever seen. The mystery was solved. The little black dots are....

caterpillar poop.

Fuzzy...I called him Fuzzy...got a spritzing with the first pesticide I came to under the kitchen sink and then was plucked from his leafy perch and tossed to a watery grave where he went out with a whoosh. And I...I swept up all telltale signs of Fuzzy and whooshed them off, too.

Only in my life does one have to deal with caterpillar poop at midnight.

Painting the town red.

2004-08-18T21:08:00.000-05:00

Or at least my daughter's bedroom Lion's Mane Gold. Actually, I'm not doing too well at that either.

I applied primer to the walls first, just like I always do. It went on nicely and covered all the flaws. Nice.

Not so nice...for some reason we bought oil-based primer rather than latex. Oil-based paints don't clean up with water. Did you know that? I didn't. Or at least I didn't think about it until I tried to clean up the brushes, rollers and me. All water did was make the stuff "puff up" and smear all over. Thankfully, Tim was home and heard me squawking and came to the rescue with a can of lighter fluid (we own no turpentine) which I pretty much had to bathe in. Yuck!

The whole mess would have bummed me out if Tim hadn't come home with an absolutely amazing surprise. The client he's working with at the moment gave him two tickets to this Saturday's Pittsburgh Steeler game. Against Houston. Box seats. $200 a pop box seats (I'm still hyperventilating). Tim's dad's birthday party is Saturday, too, but it's a night game so it works out for us to do both. Woooohoooo!

Congratulations are in order.

2004-08-17T20:34:00.000-05:00

"Hope," who used to be a part of the youth group at our old church called me tonight. To tell me she is engaged to be married. She is 18. Under normal circumstances I'd probably advise caution for someone of that age, but I am rejoicing without reservation for this one.

I was "Hope's" youth leader from the time she was old enough to participate in youth group right up until we left the church this past winter. Her family situation has been "difficult" and quite often she, herself was difficult. I have sat up many nights listening to her, counseling her, lending a shoulder to cry on, praying for her, crying over her. We have clashed bitterly and made-up joyfully. I have tried to counsel her family, too. Basically, I loved "Hope" and poured everything I had into her. Last year I thought I'd lost her. Then the stuff at the church happened and I knew I'd lost her for sure.

Then "Hope's" mother got sick. Deathly sick. Literally. For months, we did not think Mom would make it. It made "Hope" grow up. During the same time John entered her life. He is some little bit older than her and a solid Christian. He has given her a stability she was missing and guided her back to her upbringing. When I sent her a card and gift for graduation she replied with the kind of words we youth workers so seldom hear. She said "thank you" and told me just how much I'd meant to her over the years and gave me credit for inspiring her to want to be a teacher. She said she wanted to make a difference in kids' lives just like I did. It is so humbling to know God was able to use me to accomplish something in this girl's life. Anyway, I think she's got her head on straight and that this is a good thing for her, so....

Congratulations "Hope"!

It's all down hill from here...

2004-08-15T07:34:00.000-05:00

...or so they tell me. Today's my birthday. My (gulp) 40th birthday. Popular wisdom says I'm officially over the hill now. Hmmmph! The pedaling should get easier from here on out.

Actually, I'm looking forward to this second half of my life. It's a new phase as the children grow up, finances are more secure, Tim and I have more direction and hopefully with 40 years of experience under my belt, I'll be heading into the next 40 with a lot more wisdom and experience than I had the first 40.

I'm fine with being 40. Just hold on for a second while I take something for my aching joints, brush my gray hair, lace up my orthopedic shoes, clean my glasses (as soon as I find them), get my teeth out of the glass, turn up my hearing aid.......

Now what was it I was getting ready for?

Two Things...

2004-08-12T21:17:00.000-05:00

First, the ring.

A few years back I purchased a ring during a youth event. It wasn't much of a ring as rings go. Just a thin sterling silver band, part of which was formed by the cut out letters J-E-S-U-S. I wore the ring every day. It never came off my finger. It wasn't really a witnessing tool, though it did start a few conversations with other Christians. It definitely wasn't much of a fashion statement. What it was, and why I wore it, was a reminder. A reminder that Jesus was always with me. I have a habit of twisting any ring I wear so it was a good reminder. I noticed it several times a day.

Then came the implosion at our old church. As the situation progressed so did my level of personal pain. I felt very much alone, abandoned by God. In my head, I knew that wasn't so, but my heart was so bruised I couldn't feel the truth. I didn't stop believing in God or reject him, but I was mad at him. I took the ring off.

I don't want to rehash the last few months, suffice to say that I've been going through a healing process. Today when I opened my jewelery box to get a pair of earrings I saw the ring. I picked it up and held it, turning it over and over before sliding it on my finger. I'm wearing the ring again. It's time.

Second, stepping back into youth ministry.

I attended a meeting of youth leaders at our new church tonight. I haven't been there long enough to teach or lead (I have another month to go), but I can help out. It was exciting to sit and share ministry ideas again. I have missed it. I have missed being with the kids.

My concerns about getting sucked in too deeply are unfounded. I forget I attend a very large church now. Where I have been used to going it alone or with only a youth/associate pastor no matter how many kids were in the group, I am now going to be a part of a team. There were 10 of us tonight....and that was just the volunteers to work with the jr. high kids! I never gave up on the kids I worked with but I did give up on the ministry when I couldn't get one other person to lift a finger and help me. I burnt out. Big time. It feels so good to be excited about it again.

Homemaking for Dummies

2004-08-12T10:20:00.000-05:00

This morning I read the chapter in "A Wife After God's Own Heart" on keeping a home. I needed this chapter. I used to be a lot better at it, but then along came my ever growing involvement in youth ministry (and ministry in general) and then a real job (as in one that actually pays). I've gotten pretty lax about the whole thing over the years. The basics always manage to get taken care of, but the extras that make a house a home have grown more and more neglected.

I don't think I ever realized just how much God expects of a woman when it comes to taking care of her home. Sure I've read about the Proverbs 31 woman. Lots of times. And like many women, I've found her example rather daunting. How on earth can one woman do all that? Yet, that is what God expects. A woman is supposed to build her home, watch over her home, manage her home and keep her home....and she's supposed to throw herself into it whole-heartedly! Of course God provides the answer. We can read in the Bible that the godly woman "does not eat the bread of idleness." She isn't lazy. There isn't room in her life for shallow, unproductive activities. She's on assignment from God and gives her all-her every minute-to building her home.

It still seems kinda tough to me, but Elizabeth George offers some very simple and practical advice that shouldn't be too hard to apply:

1. Be content to stay at home. The more a woman is out of the home, the more she is likely to be drawn away from her God-given role.

2. Don't waste time on frivolous things. I'd ad, watch how much time you spend on anything that doesn't directly play a part in fulfilling your mission.

3. Learn how to manage your time. Make to-do lists, use planners and calendars, read books on the subject, ask more mature Christian women, make weekly meal plans.

4. Keep a daily log of how much time you spend on homemaking. It will reveal where you stand.

5. Work on your attitude. God has given you this work. Bring him glory.

6. Learn to do what you don't know how to do.

It doesn't seem so hard when you look at it in smaller chunks like that. George gave one other piece of advice that I think will end up being my mantra:

MOVE. DO SOMETHING. ANYTHING. WHETHER YOU FEEL LIKE IT OR NOT. SOMETHING DONE IS BETTER THAN NOTHING, NO MATTER HOW SMALL.

2004-08-11T09:47:00.000-05:00

It's a great morning to be alive. The weather is perfect...sunny, gentle breeze and a temperature hovering somewhere midway between cool and sweltering. It feels much like an early June morning when summer is just beginning to take hold rather than the last sweltering dog days of the season.

I got up and pulled the plug on the air conditioning and opened the windows. The house could use a good airing out and it's nice to be able to hear the sounds of summer...the songs of birds, the crowing of my rooster, the lawnmower across the street, the shouts and laughter of kids racing past, bike wheels whirring and the rustle of leaves being tickled by the breeze. Or it would be nice to hear all that if Matt wasn't playing his drums. He just got them back home after having them at our old church for about two months. I think he missed them. He's been playing for hours on end the last couple of days. Good thing I like drums. Ok, I admit that after a while it gets very annoying but I'm trying to be patient. He thinks he's rusty and he's trying to get in a lot of practicing before the youth pastor plugs him into the youth worship band. He's not bad and he's completely self-taught. He can't read a lick of music.

Anywhoo....I've done my First Place bible study and read another chapter in "A Wife After God's Own Heart." Much to process on the subjects of gentleness and (ugh) finances. More to come on those later. I love starting my day with God and have to watch because I can be a little bit unflexible about it, but it just seems to set the tone for the rest of the day and I like having all that good stuff to ponder. As soon as I'm done here I'm going to finish making a list of my youth ministry library to give to the youth pastor. I told him he was welcome to use anything I have so I guess it'd be nice if knew what I have. Then it's up to my mom's garage. We set up all the tables and loaded them up with junk, I mean treasure, for the garage sale we're having Friday and Saturday. I have to start putting prices on all of it today. I'm hoping for good weather and lots of customers. I'll haggle on anything. I don't want to bring this stuff back into the house or have to deal with hauling it away to the thrift store.

Good thing I'm keeping busy or I'd be missing Tim something awful and probably getting pretty crabby about it. He is building a car wash this week and only has this week to get it done! He got home at 9:00 Monday and at 10:00 last night. He is tired but enjoying the challenge. He's like that about work. Matt and I are trying to talk him into applying to be on Discovery Channel's Monster House show. We think he'd be great at it. He is getting along well with the owner and his wife, too. Sounds like they are becoming friends and they want us to join them in September for a tailgate party at Heinz Field and a Steeler game. That would be so cool! I love football and I haven't been to Heinz Field yet.

Mom's in a sappy mood.

2004-08-10T18:53:00.000-05:00

I like my son. Really. I love him, but I really like him. As a person. We've been spending a lot of time together lately and I've enjoyed it. We like a lot of the same things. We have the same sense of humor. We can talk. About the serious stuff. It just hit me today as I was thinking about how much we've done in the last week, just the two of us, that I am truly blessed to have the kind of relationship I have with my 17-year-old son. It's rare and precious. We've hung out at Barnes & Noble reading and talking over frappucinos. We've hung out at the park, me reading while he fished. We've gone shopping. We've cooked meals together, watched movies, and worked side by side. Today we ran errands and went out to lunch. I am really going to miss him next year when he goes off to school.

Ch-ch-changes

2004-08-07T21:51:00.000-05:00

It's been such a nice day. Sunny with a slight breeze and cool. It feels so much like Fall lately. We spent the day doing stuff around the house. Unfortunately, putting the liner in the pool still wasn't one of them. The weather is right and Tim has the time, but there's about 3 inches of water in the bottom from the last time it rained and the sand is all wet. Instead, we worked back and forth with my mom and stepfather getting things done at both homes. It reminded me so much of how it used to be when my dad was alive. I really enjoyed it and invited them to join us for supper. We all pulled together for that, too, and sat around the table talking for a good while.

Things around here have been more peaceful. I chalk that up to the changes I'm trying to make because of what I'm learning in my First Place study and from "A Wife After God's Own Heart." Both revolve around developing an on-going and growing relationship with the Lord and developing the fruit of the Spirit. I've been throwing a lot of energy into being more deliberate, more intentional, in my attempts to act more Christlike. God, knowing that I still need a lot of work in the areas of patience and faithfulness has brought about enough change for me to see and take hope in. I have been amazed by how much my own attitude and behavior influences others. Life with Megan has been so much more peaceful. She hasn't had a major blow up in 4 days! And when she does seem to be working up to one, I've been able to defuse it. My relationship with my mom is usually strained at best, but today we were able to, if not have a great mother/daughter relationship, then at least it was easy going and comfortable. Then there is Tim. I started out really biting my tongue and having to force myself to be positive and cheerful. Over the last few days, I've found that it seems to be coming more naturally and neither of us has been as grumpy.

Chapter 2 of "A Wife After God's Own Heart" clearly lays out the roles of a husband and wife in a marriage.

A husband is to: lead in his marriage and family, work and provide for his wife, and love his wife.

A wife is to: help her husband, submit to her husband, respect her husband and love her husband.

A wife has to be careful in how she follows God's plan. Some, who George calls "husband-watchers" neglect their own faithfulness to their assignment as wives and take on the self-appointed role of playing "Holy Spirit" in their husband's lives, pointing out faults and shortcomings under the guise of helping them change/improve. I have to admit, this is me. I don't mean Tim any harm or ill-will. When I tell him things, it's because I honestly care and want him to be the best he can be. God's helped me to see that Tim doesn't see it that way at all and I'be been keeping my mouth shut, really biting my tongue at times, and giving it over to God. It may still bug me, but the peace with Tim is worth it and as the days go by, things aren't bothering me as much.

Daily commitments from this chapter:

1. Thank your husband for living out his roles. Even if he isn't, keep watching for how he does show his love and thank him for it.

2. Ask your husband how you can help. Every day ask two questions: "What can I do for you today?" and "What can I do to help you make better use of your time today?"

3. Show greater respect for your husband.

4. Think of a way the two of you can have fun this week.

5. Pray to follow God's plan for a wife.

6. Seek out another woman as a mentor.

A Wife After God's Own Heart

2004-08-05T13:38:00.000-05:00

Tim and I have been going through one of the valleys in our marriage for a while now. Actually, this one seems more like the Grand Canyon. In my own hurt and frustration I want to blame him and all his shortcomings. It can't be me! Look at how he's acting. Of course, I know that isn't true no matter how much I wish it were so. It's a lot more comfortable to blame someone else than to examine your own faults.

Fortunately, God isn't concerned with my comfort. He's concerned with my spiritual health and growth as a member of his family. He wants the very best he has to offer to be mine and he is willing to work with me and get tough with me when I need it. Lately, he and I have been working on this whole wife thing. I didn't have any examples of Godly wives in my life growing up. Coming into marriage I really didn't have any idea of how a healthy marriage should work or what my part in it should be. Still, things went along fine for quite a while. About year 10 we began to experience rough patches that went beyond minor little tiffs. At some point along the way, I realized neither Tim or I knew how to work things out so that they didn't come back to haunt us over and over. Disney has its Haunted Mansion, ours is the Haunted Marriage where old hurts and arguments return over and over never to rest in peace.

At various times I have cried, ranted, begged, suggested counseling, raged and nagged among other things. Nothing worked. Nothing I do will ever work. This is a truth I'm coming to terms with. The only things I can do that will make any difference are 1)pray and 2)change myself. Since I can't change Tim (that's up to him and God) what I can do is change how I act, and more importantly, react to his behavior.

In chapter one of "A Wife After God's Own Heart," Elizabeth George reminds that we wives must begin anything by putting first things first. We shouldn't worry over daily concerns, but rather "seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you" (Matt 6:33). What a simple Christian truth and the one our lives should be based on, but how easily we forget it.

God expects us to seek him first and foremost and he expects us to continue to seek him daily...to grow in the Lord. This we do by reading his Word and learning more about him and his standards for living our lives, by studying the Bible and praying to understand what God is saying to us, and by doing through obedience what we have read and learned. We can never be satisfied with our spiritual condition for when we are, we will stop growing. It is the heart that desires to know God more intimately that is soft, responsive to God and will grow in the Lord.

As we grow in our relationship with the Lord, our behavior will change. We will become more Christlike as God's Word and our obedience work together to change us. As our behavior changes, our relationships with our husbands will change (this actually will apply to all relationships). As we put more and more godly practices into place we'll become better wives. We'll manifest more of God's love, peace, patience, kindness, and goodness. We'll be meeker, more gentle and have more self-control. Of course these changes are going to make a difference in your relationships (especially the most intimate one) and bless us and others. Our husbands will be more appreciative of us.

George gives these daily assignments:

1. Read your Bible every day...at least one chapter.

2. Pray for your husband 3 times every day....first thing in the morning, at lunch and right before he comes home.

3. Plan to go to church every week....it sets your personal church wheels in motion. If your husband won't go, it's okay. Just be friendly and relaxed and go yourself. God will work on his heart. You just keep praying.

4. Join a Bible class or study....to take care of your own spiritual growth.

5. Purchase or borrow a Christian book....by spending just 15 minutes a day, you can read 25 books a year.

6. Write a letter of commitment to God....on paper pour out our desire to grow spiritually. Save it. Refer to it often.

Like Barnes & Noble.....Only Better

2004-08-05T13:05:00.000-05:00

This morning I went to the mall while Megan was at VBS. I was just going to sit at the food court and read or maybe wander about looking at all of the things I'd buy if I actually had money to spend. Then I remembered Matt telling me the Christian book store had moved and that I needed to check out all the improvements they'd made. Woo-hoo! It's awesome! It has all the perks of Barnes & Noble (cafe, couches, atmosphere, music, etc) and it's Christian. I'm sure I'll be spending a lot more time there when I go to the mall.

Today I went in looking for a book on healing from church inflicted wounds either for Tim to read or for me to read and try to gleen something from to help him with the healing process. I didn't find anything. Instead, God in his wisdom lead me to purchase "A Wife After God's Own Heart" by Elizabeth George. I read the first chapter sitting in the store and what a co-inky-dink...it blends right into what I'm doing in the First Place study and what God is working on in me. Imagine that! I think I'm really going to enjoy this book and get a lot from it so if you don't mind, I think I'll be sharing it with you as I go along.

Just an Ordinary Day

2004-08-04T18:53:00.000-05:00

It was crazy hair day at VBS. I wish I had a digital camera so you could have seen Megan's style. She pulled her hair back in a ponytail except for a section on each side of her face that she braided. On top, she wore the neon blue hairband with matching blue ponytails sprouting from the top and decorated with tinsel of the same color mixed with silver. Too funny. Any-hoo, rather than spend my third morning in a row at Barnes & Noble I took Matt to Twin Lakes. I sat nearby and read while he fished.

The youth pastor caught up with me when we picked Megan up. We haven't crossed paths in over a month due to either him or us being away. He let me know there is a jr. high youth leader's meeting next week and asked me to come. By his calculations I still have a month and a half to go before I can actually lead or teach, but he still wants me to start getting involved by coming to meetings and events so I can get to know the other leaders and the kids and get a feel for the program. I'm excited about getting back into the game, nervous, too. I need to go slow, evaluate and set some basic limits early on.

Just been hanging out the rest of the day. Did some laundry, read, played Parchesi with the kids (it rained a lot this afternoon) and cooked a big supper. Ordinary.

100 Years of the Banana Split

2004-08-03T21:43:00.000-05:00

In 1904, David Strickler was working in Tassell's Pharmacy right here in Latrobe when he was experimenting at the soda fountain and created a treat featuring a banana cut length-wise, ice cream, chocolate syrup, marshmallow, nuts, whipped cream and a cherry and called it a "Banana Split." It sold for 10 cents and a boy wanting to impress and treat his best girl right would always include a stop at the soda fountain for a banana split...with two spoons, of course. To hold the splits, Strickler commissioned Westmoreland Glass, in nearby Grapeville, to create the banana split boat. In 1905, the boats sold for $1.50 a dozen. The company produced them up until 1984.

Strickler told his story to the producers of the television show "I've Got a Secret" in 1958. He never appeared on the show, but later, his name was used as an answer on "Jeopardy" as well as in Trivial Pursuit.

Authentic Banana Split
1. One banana, split length-wise
2. Strawberry ice cream, one scoop
3. Chocolate ice cream, one scoop
4. Vanilla ice cream, one scoop
5. Whipped cream
6. Cherry
7. Sauces (chocolate, strawberry and pineapple)

*In bowling, when the 1,2,3,4 and 7 pins are left standing it's called a "banana split."

*Lucille Ball was once fired from a job as a soda jerk because she forgot to put the banana in a banana split.

*The world's largest banana split was built in 1992 in Brisbane, Australia, measuring 4.7 miles in length.

Banana Split Hot Cocoa
Mix 2 1/2 cups milk, 1/2 cup cocoa powder, 1/2 cup sugar, one-quarter of a sliced banana and one tablespoon of strawberry jam in a blender until smooth. Pour into saucepan, stir over medium heat. Pour into mug, top with whipped cream, chocolate syrup, chopped nuts and a cherry.

Thus ends today's history lesson.

2004-08-02T21:26:00.000-05:00

It's been a great day.

Megan had to be at the church by 9:30 this morning for the VBS kick-off. The theme is Treasures of the Nile II and you should see the decorations. I don't know who made them, but it is sure someone with a lot of talent. The sanctuary looks like an Egyptian palace! It's amazing. Megan had a good time and got to know a couple of girls better. The session was nearly 3 hours long but with living 30-40 minutes away from the church I didn't want to drive all the way home so Matt and I went to Barnes & Noble after Megan was settled. We had a wonderful time browsing and then sitting and reading over frappucinos.

Tim was already home when we got back. Delays are keeping him from starting his next project so he had something to build for work and just decided to do it at home. He also finally got around to putting up the big flag pole my mom bought him for his birthday back in December.

Tonight the pastor came to visit us. He is such a nice man and so different from what we've been used to the last few years. It meant so much to have a pastor sit and really listen to what we had to say and actually care about us. In talking about the situation that made us leave our old church, Tim broke down and Pastor Dail did a wonderful job of counseling him. Tim is beginning to heal, but he still has a way to go and though he likes the church we're at now and plans to stay there, he's still a bit wary and it's going to take some time yet for him. Still, as soon as a membership class is offered that we can fit into our schedule, we're going to take it to really learn about the church, its beliefs and how it works. Tim isn't ready to join, but I am. That old familiar tug to serve is back and it's time for me to become a functioning part of God's family again. Kind of neat, that Pastor Dail shared with us a very long list of pastors and lay leaders who are currently attending the church having been deeply wounded in another church. He said we've all said the same thing....that there is just something about the church that makes us feel safe, that it is a place where we can rest and recover and be ministered to. He told us that he has a real burden for pastors and leaders who are wounded in the church (having been there himself). Apparently that comes through loud and clear even if those of us who need it don't recognize it at first.

I guess there really wasn't a point. I'm just marveling out loud over Pastor Dail. It's been far too long since we've had a pastor we trusted enough to talk honestly with or one that actually cared and took the time to minister to us.

Yep, it's been a great day.

On the soapbox....just this once.

2004-08-01T16:24:00.000-05:00

I don't usually comment on politics. It isn't that I'm not interested or that I don't have opinions, I just feel it's an area better left to the pundits. However, I couldn't pass on it today. I'm in the position of one, living in the state John Kerry so desperately wants to identify himself with and both candidates need to win, and two, my local paper just happens to be the Tribune-Review. You know it, it's the "left-wing rag" that employs Colin McNickle as its editorial page editor. You know him, too. He's the guy Teresa Heinz Kerry told to "shove it."

McNickle's final article from Boston was featured on the editorial page today. In it he told what he has been going through since the incident. Heinz Kerry has said that he tried to "trap" her and has publically maligned his personal and professional integrity. Kerry, himself, called his wife's actions appropriate. Patti Labelle said Heinz Kerry should have "pimp-slapped" him. Michael Moore called him "rude." He's been accused of having a long-running fued with Heinz Kerry and even of grabbing Heinz Kerry. McNickle's been verbally assaulted on the street, on national television and in the national press. His e-mails and phone messages are filled with expletive filled curses from Kerry supporters and a good number of death threats....which will be forwarded to the senders' hometown police departments. A daughter, back home in Pittsburgh, was reduced to tears when a woman called the family's home pretending to be a reporter seeking an interview then launched into a filthy tirade. This was made possible by a Kerry supporter who posted McNickle's home address and phone number on the response part of his convention blog.

Shame on you, Mrs. Heinz Kerry for your own behavior following your call for a return to civility. Shame on you, too, for not calling for your supporters to behave themselves, but if you can't even control yourself.... I'm afraid I must agree with McNickle's brother's assement of the situation; "The liberal definition of a 'strong woman' is one who abuses anyone who asks a question she doesn't want to answer."

Colin McNickle's question still remains unanswered, but my view of Mrs. Heinz Kerry as a self-serving manipulator has solidified. Can you tell me what a billionaire heiress knows about life in the real world?

Of Mr. Kerry? He passed through southwestern Pennsylvania yesterday, stopping in Greensburg. A reported 10,000 people waited in the pouring rain to hear him speak. Among them was the mother of a Navy physician who fought the crowds to make her way to Kerry's side and tearfully beg him to "bring our troops home." She told the Trib, "He didn't say anything."

It's telling, don't you think that two days ago Kerry stopped at a Wendy's here in PA and spoke with some Marines that were having lunch. The Marines were less than thrilled and reportedly got rather curt with Mr. Kerry and barely paid him any attention until he slunk back to his bus. Meanwhile, Dick Cheney visited with Marines at Camp Pendleton and received a resounding "hoo-yah" from the troops for his comments on the war. I don't know about you, but I'd rather our military men have a commander-in-chief that they can respect and will feel good about following.

John and Teresa, maybe you had better look to those nasty Republicans, George W. Bush in particular, for an example of honesty and integrity in action. If you don't mean it and aren't going to live it, don't say it!

Are you ready for some football?

2004-08-01T14:04:00.000-05:00

The Pittsburgh Steelers arrived at St. Vincent College yesterday. Training camp opened this afternoon. The craziness and traffic jams begin.

We may not wear cheese on our heads, but this is serious football country.

Ouch.

2004-07-31T20:35:00.000-05:00

My toothache is back. It seems like it's growing in intensity as the night goes on. I hope I can hang in there till Monday when I can call the dentist.

New Way of Life

2004-07-31T07:37:00.000-05:00

Tim's been around a lot during the evenings this week because he's between projects at work. It's been nice. Nicer still that we've had a couple of evenings where it was just the two of us for dinner and a while afterward. It's given us a chance to have long conversations....something he's often too exhausted for.

Last night's conversation turned to our finances and how out of control they are. We aren't in trouble or anything. We're just living very materialistically. The kids, especially Megan, are always doing things costing money. Free things do not satisfy. The way we do things has got to change.

Matthew is planning to attend Pittsburgh Technical Institute after graduation. We don't know the final financial details, but we do know that our income is high enough to disqualify him from all but one tiny state grant. Even if he takes out two student loans there will still be a large shortfall of funding that has to made up in the form of huge monthly payments or a loan of our own. We don't want to take out a 20-30 year loan. We'd rather tough it out for two years and be done with it. We're talking about $50,000. Something has to change for that to happen. There is also the graduation party for Matt and the trip to Chincoteague we said we do so he and his friends can afford a week at the beach. We also want to do some work on the house.

Basically, our plan is to tighten the belt, live more simply, and definitely more frugally. Tim's going to work lots of overtime. Dinners out are going to have to be greatly reduced if not non-existant. We have to try to cut our utility bills. Impulse shopping has got to stop. Meals are going to have to be from scratch. Entertainment is going to have to be free or close to it. I'm going to be devoting a lot of time to researching ways to live more simply. Tim's going to be a tough one to convert even though he knows in his mind what needs done and agrees...it's hard to break old habits. Matt will be okay with the changes because he knows what he wants and is willing to work for it. Megan will be the toughest. She gets something into her head to do and there is no telling her no. Well, we tell her no, but she makes our lives a living hell when she doesn't get what she wants. If it is important, we hold our ground, but giving her another $5 to go to the pool (or whatever) usually seems better than disrupting the whole family. Curbing her will be the most painful part for all of us.

Anyway, today is day one. We'll get through today. Then we'll get through tomorrow. That's all we can do. Well, that and pray.

DUCK!

2004-07-29T09:01:00.000-05:00

Actually, it's robins. I went out to give the kitties their breakfast this morning and only two of the little ankle-biters emerged from among the potted plants to completely ignore me. Given recent history, a missing kitten results in full scale panic and a land (yard), sea (the neighbor's pool) and air (trees) search. Especially when it's Megan's kitten that's missing.

While peering over the neighbor's fence to see if Tigger had decided to see if he could walk on water, I became aware of a great commotion overhead in the pussywillows. Being the sharp tack that I am, I looked up. No more missing kitten. Tigger was peeking out between the leaves at me, meowing pitifully and greatly annoying a family of robins, who evidently reside in the tree.

As I stood there looking up and pondering just how I was going to get a naughty kitten down out of the tree, Junior Robin took that inopportune moment to try his wings. In a great leap of faith he took off from the nest and in a manner only slightly more graceful that a full-out plummet, reached the ground. That succeeded in solving my cat problem. His eye trained on Junior, Tigger threw himself into reverse and scooted down the tree in record time. I snagged him in mid-air just as he lept from the trunk. Ma and Pa Robin arrived on the scene at about the same time and we all narrowly missed a head on collision.

I ran for the deck and Ma and Pa turned their attention to encouraging Junior to try those wings again to get back to the (relative) safety of the nest. As I stood there watching their efforts and holding tightly to Tigger, a soft grey blur streaked by me and pounced on Junior. Oops. Seems Ma and Pa's squawking caught the attention of another of our would-be carnivores. Clutch, fearless jungle cat that he thinks he is, was giving it his best effort, but Ma and Pa grew ever more vicious in their dive bombing, screeching and flapping efforts. Have you ever seen a robin with all of its feathers standing up on end? By now even Blizzard, who is completely deaf, had been drawn into things and was doing his best to catch Ma and/or Pa while Clutch went after Junior. I have to give Ma and Pa credit. They managed to stay alive and keep Junior that way, too, at least for as long as I stayed to watch. The battle finally reached such a pitch that I let Tigger go and ran into the house rather than risk being impaled by a pissed off robin. That would be a really crappy way to start the day.

I took a peek a few minutes ago and all is quiet out there. Clutch and Tigger were napping in the sun. Blizzard was no where to be seen, nor were any members of the robin family. All I saw was a feather or two and those could have been dropped during all the fuss.

Good for another year.

2004-07-28T10:46:00.000-05:00

Just got back from having my annual physical, that barring any unforseen abnormalities (Dan, don't say anything), enables me to keep my commercial driver's license for another year. Everything checked out okie dokie and I'm a happy camper. The scale they used last night at First Place said I was 10 pounds heavier than the one I use at home says. So according to that scale I not only regained the weight I'd lost, but tossed on a few more for good measure. I sure didn't see how that could be right, so I was anxious to see what my weight was during my physical. I'm happy because it said only two pounds more than my scale. I think the First Place scale is out of whack.

While I'm mentioning First Place, can I just say again how much I appreciate the ladies in my group? They are such a blessing to me and have helped me heal some of the hurts inflicted at my old church as much as anything, maybe more than most things. They are giving me a good example of healthy Christianity in practice and they've freed me to take off the mask of perfection I had to wear at the old church and really delve into my relationship with God in an honest way. They allow me to struggle with things and admit to their own struggles. It is just so awesome.

Tim will be home anytime now. He, Matt and I are heading off to Pastor Carl's funeral.

Soggy Tuesday

2004-07-27T08:10:00.000-05:00

It's wet on the porch swing today. We are smack dab in the middle of what's predicted to be a three-day rain. I actually kind of like rainy days in the summer. They give us a chance to hole up in the house for a while and spend time with each other. It's a great time to play board games, bake cookies, read a good book or watch favorite movies. The kids don't ask to go anywhere and no one comes knocking on our door.

So, Megan is 12. Her party was Saturday. Sunday was her actual birthday. Monday I took her out for the day as our gift to her. We went to my hair salon and she got her hair trimmed and shaped as well as streaks of blondish highlights. I was nervous about it, but it looks very nice, very natural....as if she's spent hours and hours in the sun. It was off to the mall after that for lunch a bit of shopping. What an eye-opening experience. Megan's taste in clothing runs to the "punk" side of things, though everything she picked out is pink. Right down to the fishnet gloves she bought herself. Yeah, you read that right. I can't say I'm thrilled about the gloves, but I can allow her those. I won on a few more important items. It's really hard to explain to a 12-yr-old tomboyish girl why certain articles of clothing are inappropriate without getting into more detail than I want to.

Matt went along with us. He did some shopping for himself and generously bought his sister the new Montgomery Gentry CD. She's recently become a fan and is pulling him into it as well...though I doubt he'd admit it outside of this house.

Tim just finished up a project at work so he was home early last night. That was really the cherry on the top of a perfect day.

Losing a good man.

2004-07-24T22:40:00.000-05:00

This afternoon I ran into the interim pastor from our old church. He told me that Pastor Charles Carl, a former pastor of the church and the man who married Tim and I and saw us through my father's illness and death (in spite of his own illness), was released from the hospital yesterday and is in hospice care. His children have all come home and his death is expected any time now.

The news weighs heavy on my heart, but I know that the world's loss is heaven's gain and that Pastor Carl will be glad to be with God.

Please pray for the family.

UPDATE: At some time on Sunday, Pastor Carl went home to be with the Lord he loved and served so well.

Whew!

2004-07-24T22:20:00.000-05:00

Megan's party was a great success. About 20 family members and a few friends turned out to wish her a happy 12th birthday. The princess was in her glory...all smiles and happiness. I love the rare moments like that. She loved all her gifts. There was a definite trend. Jewelry, make-up, clothes, shopping trips with Grandma and me, movies, CD's. Very teenager-ish.

We actually enjoyed the time with Tim's family. It almost felt like pre-rift times. Even my mom was in a good mood and pleasant. Everyone lingered and visited and our friends, Helen and Dave stayed until 10:30. We lit the torches and sat out on the deck enjoying the night...cool and clear. Their daughter, Danielle, is staying the night. She's between Matt and Megan in age and has a bit of a crush on Matt. She's going along tomorrow to our family reunion (a collection of distant cousins, mainly of my dad's generation that we see only at the reunion) and the 80th birthday party for Tim's great aunt. Lucky her. We'd all love to find a way to get out of both.

All in all a good day.

T.G.I.F.

2004-07-23T07:46:00.000-05:00

Feeling much better this morning. When Tim got home last night he helped me do some major rearranging in the livingroom and that seemed to knock me out of my funk. It also generated a lot more stuff for the garage sale I'm still planning to have this summer. I cleared the video cabinet of movies we never, ever, watch and filled three plastic garbage bags! I'm going to try selling them first, but if they don't go, the library is in for a huge donation to its video collection.

Megan turns 12 this Sunday. Not quite a teenager, but you'd never know it. She's been acting like one since she was 10. Actually, she's at that funny age where one minute she's a snotty, know-it-all teenager, whose life is being ruined by none other than moi, the very one that endured hours of agony to bring her into the world....and the next she is a sweet and cuddly thing wanting only to be held by her mama. Oh, the mood swings! Perhaps I could have myself put on valium or some other "happy" pill until we emerge on the other side of this, because there are days when I'm just not sure we're both going to make it out alive!

Today I'm cleaning the house and getting ready for the birthday party we must have tomorrow, because Sunday is already filled with my family reunion and the 80th birthday of Tim's great aunt. No cooking to do, at least. Yea! Megan has requested Jioio's pizza and I ordered the cake from Wal-Mart's bakery. It's either going to look like the beach, complete with leaping dolphins, or have rainbows and Carebears. I will give her our gift next week on Monday or Tuesday. I will take her to my hair stylist to have the long desired streaks of lighter color put in her hair, have lunch with her anywhere she wants, and then take her to the mall and allow her to choose an outfit or two for school. A very grown-up day.

Blah....

2004-07-22T16:44:00.000-05:00

That is me today. Blah. I'm in a funk. Have been the last couple of days. Vacation let down?

Blah.

Blah.

Blah.

More Get to Know Me Stuff

2004-07-22T10:38:00.000-05:00

Borrowed from Amy.

FIRSTS:

First Job: Babysitting.
First Screen Name: Gamemasterdh.
First Self-purchased CD: I have no idea.
First Tape Cassette Purchased: Again, no idea.
First Record Purchased: I am loathed to admit it, but I think it was Shaun Cassidy.
First Piercing/tattoo: One in each ear at age 10 with parental blessing. I've gotten two more in the left ear since then and I keep debating on a tatoo.
First True Love: Greg.
First Enemy: Maggie.

LASTS:
Last Big Car Ride: Coming home from Chincoteague on Monday...7 1/2 hours.
Last Kiss: This morning.
Last library book checked out: I can't remember, but I'm sure it was a mystery.
Last Movie Seen: At the theater? I think it was Rundown.
Last Beverage Drank: Pepsi.
Last Food Consumed: Pancakes.
Last Phone Call: From Tim asking me about some dates he needed for work.
Last CD Played: Maroon 5.
Last Annoyance: Waiting for my computer to grind through each process.
Last Pop Drank: Pepsi.
Last Ice Cream Eaten: Chocolate cone last Saturday while we were mini golfing.
Last Time Scolded: Last Sunday by Tim, who was in a cranky mood.
Last Shirt Worn: My red Camp Sonrise Mt. t-shirt.

I...

I Am: feeling bored, which explains why I'm doing this.
I Want: Chinese food.
I Have: not done anything productive since making the kids pancakes for breakfast.
I Wish: I was back at the beach.
I Hate: Sweating.
I Fear: Snakes.
I Hear: The air conditioner.
I Searched: For the kittens this morning.
I Wonder: If Tim will work late again tonight.
I Regret: Nothing. Everything has helped shape me into who I am.
I Love: God, my husband and my kids.
I Always: Check my email.
I Am Not: Very outgoing.
I Dance: With Megan and the dog.
I Sing: Only at home and in front of no one but my husband and kids.
I Cry: Over sappy movies and when I get very nervous.

YES or NO:

You Keep a Diary: Two plus a blog.
You Like to Cook: Yes, but it's tough to get motivated when we aren't usually all here for dinner.
You Have a Secret You Have Not Shared with Anyone: Yes.

DO YOU...?

Get Motion Sickness: Now and then on amusement rides.
You're a Health Freak: You've got to be kidding.
Current Hair Color: Dark brown with a few stubborn grays at the temple.
Eye color: Brown.
Birthplace: Erie, Pennsylvania.

FAVORITES

Number: 9.
Color: I kinda like the whole spice palate....amber, orange, cinnamon, brown, etc.
Day: Sunday and Friday.
Month: October.
Songs: Piano Man.
Season: Fall.
Drink: Pepsi.
Alcohol: Don't drink enough to have a favorite. Just a glass of wine here and there.

PREFERENCES

Chocolate milk or hot chocolate: Chocolate milk.
Milk, dark, or white chocolate: White chocolate.
Vanilla or chocolate: Chocolate.

IN THE LAST 24 HRS, HAVE YOU...

Cried: No.
Helped Someone: Yes, my husband and my kids several times.
Bought Something: Drinks when I took the kids to swim at the state park yesterday.
Gotten Sick: No.
Gone to the Movies: No.
Said 'I Love You": Yes, to my hubby and kids.
Written a Real Letter: No.
Written in a Journal: Yes, both of them and my blog.
Had a Serious Talk: Sort of, if Instant Messenger conversations count.
Missed Someone: No.
Hugged Someone: Yep, hubby and kids again.

It's too noisy!

2004-07-21T08:10:00.000-05:00

BAM! BAM! CLANG! THUNK!

That's the sound of the peace and quiet of the porch swing being shattered this morning. How am I supposed to do my Bible study with all that racket going on? Does my neighbor really need a new roof? Well, with all this rain we've been having I suppose he does. Back into the house in search of a quiet spot.

The kitchen. BAM! BAM!

The livingroom. BAM! BAM!

The bedroom. CLANG! CLANG! THUNK!

The bathroom? BAM! BAM! CLANG! @%#&$%! THUNK!

I finally settled on the livingroom where I can still hear the tearing up of old shingles and the gentle tossing of those same shingles into a dump truck driven up my driveway and across part of my lawn for just for the purpose of being a giant garbage can. At least in the livingroom the sounds are somewhat muffled and I can't quite make out the expletives.

Basically, my hunt for a peaceful place to spend time with God this morning was one big object lesson for me. Thanks, God.

My bible study this morning was about peace. Peace. Everybody wants it. We all look for it. Few of us seem to find it. Why? We're looking in all the wrong places. We look for peace in the things of this world and every now and then we might find a brief moment of peace, but the world's peace is conditional and fleeting. For long-lasting, eternal peace, the kind of peace that roots itself down deep in your soul, we have to look to God.

The bible tells us over and over that peace comes from God, that God wants to give us his peace, that he will give it to those who are faithful and trust in him. We can rest in the knowledge that Jesus overcame the troubles of this world for us. We can trust that this is our heritage. When we lack peace, we need only to turn to him.

Funny thing, as I sat working on my bible study, the outside sounds faded away and all I was aware of was his truth.

Mixed Blessings

2004-07-20T21:38:00.000-05:00

Got a letter from the middle school today. Seems Megan is eligible for up to $500 in federal grant money to reimburse us for a math tutor. All I have to do is apply on-line. Woo-hoo! She really needs the help (she flunked 6th grade math). Meg qualifies for this little windfall because of her painfully low scores on the PSSA test she took this past Spring. I hope the tutoring helps her get to a point where she feels more confident rather than seeing it as more confirmation of her "dumbness."

Vacation Tales

2004-07-20T10:57:00.000-05:00

Got home around 5:30 last night. Today feels like the day after Christmas. You know, the let down after all the build up and hoopla of the big event. I had the house pretty much in order when we left and I kept all our laundry done while we were gone so there isn't a lot that has to be done today. The kids and I are just hanging out reading, checking email and playing with the doggies and kitties, who are very glad to see us.

The week was awesome! We spent a lot of time at the beach. I'm not big on actually going in the ocean, but Tim and the kids had a great time riding the waves on the body boards we bought the first day there. We took long walks in search of shells and other treasures (Matt found two shark teeth!). Sandcastles were built and kites flown. I even managed to find time to read.

Fishing was a big hit. On Wednesday we went out on a charted boat with an excellent captain. He even baited our hooks and took the fish off the line! Mostly we caught Croaker, which makes a deep croaking noise when pulled out of the water. We also caught a few Flounder but they were too small. Megan had a big day with the biggest Croakers, a Bluefish and very nearly a Stingray (it got away right as she got it near the surface). We did a good bit of crabbing, too, and got pretty good at it. On Thursday we managed to snag 17 that were at least 7-inches across (legal size is 5-inches). We cooked them ourselves along with the fish we'd caught the day before. Mm-mmm!

The Back Bay Expedition was everyone's favorite part. Captain Barry was very knowledgable and part entertainer. He took us out to a sandbar in the middle of the bay during low tide and let us walk on it. It was still under 6 inches of water, so it must have been a real sight from the shore to see us out there walking around in the middle of the bay! Capt. Barry showed us a lot of marine life up close and told us all about it. We pulled crab pots, collected shells, learned local history, touched a huge jellyfish, learned a lot about the industry surrounding the sea (you wouldn't believe what they do with horseshoe crabs), collected fresh oysters and got to try some Asian oysters a local is experimenting with to see if they'd be viable to raise in the bay. Matt even stepped on a Stingray in one of the out-of-the-way places we went, so got to see one up close.

We had great times together as a family doing all that stuff and even just sitting around at the house playing games when it rained. We're rested and refreshed....and already planning to go back next year.

Bon Voyage!

2004-07-11T14:23:00.000-05:00

This is it for a while. We hit the road tomorrow at 5:00am (groans from throughout the household). The antibiotics seem to be working a little bit. There is still pressure and chewing is tricky, but there's no pain. If it doesn't get any better than that, I can survive the week as long as it doesn't get any worse. Still have a couple loads of laundry to do and the last of the packing so I'm off.
See you next week!

The 100 Top Grossing Movies of All Time

2004-07-10T21:22:00.000-05:00

How to play: Italics the ones you've seen. Link via Rachel.

1. Titanic (1997) $600,779,824 *
2. Star Wars (1977) $460,935,665
3. E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) $434,949,459 *
4. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) $431,065,444
5. Spider-Man (2002) $403,706,375
6. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The (2003) $377,019,252
7. Passion of the Christ, The (2004) $370,025,697
8. Jurassic Park (1993) $356,784,000
9. Shrek 2 (2004) $356,211,000
10. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002) $340,478,898
11. Finding Nemo (2003) $339,714,367
12. Forrest Gump (1994) $329,691,196
13. Lion King, The (1994) $328,423,001
14. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001) $317,557,891
15. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001) $313,837,577
16. Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) $310,675,583
17. Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983) $309,125,409
18. Independence Day (1996) $306,124,059
19. Pirates of the Caribbean (2003) $305,411,224 *
20. Sixth Sense, The (1999) $293,501,675
21. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) $290,158,751
22. Home Alone (1990) $285,761,243
23. Matrix Reloaded, The (2003) $281,492,479
24. Shrek (2001) $267,652,016
25. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) $261,970,615
26. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) $260,031,035
27. Jaws (1975) $260,000,000
28. Monsters, Inc. (2001) $255,870,172
29. Batman (1989) $251,188,924
30. Men in Black (1997) $250,147,615
31. Toy Story 2 (1999) $245,823,397
32. Bruce Almighty (2003) $242,589,580
33. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) $242,374,454
34. Twister (1996) $241,700,000
35. My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002) $241,437,427
36. Ghost Busters (1984) $238,600,000
37. Beverly Hills Cop (1984) $234,760,500
38. Cast Away (2000) $233,630,478
39. Lost World: Jurassic Park, The (1997) $229,074,524
40. Signs (2002) $227,965,690
41. Rush Hour 2 (2001) $226,138,454
42. Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) $219,200,000
43. Ghost (1990) $217,631,306
44. Aladdin (1992) $217,350,219
45. Saving Private Ryan (1998) $216,119,491
46. Mission: Impossible II (2000) $215,397,307
47. X2 (2003) $214,948,780
48. Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002) $213,079,163
49. Back to the Future (1985) $210,609,762
50. Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999) $205,399,422
51. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) $204,843,350
52. Exorcist, The (1973) $204,565,000
53. Mummy Returns, The (2001) $202,007,640
54. Armageddon (1998) $201,573,391
55. Gone with the Wind (1939) $198,655,278
56. Pearl Harbor (2001) $198,539,855 *
57. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) $197,171,806
58. Toy Story (1995) $191,800,000
59. Men in Black II (2002) $190,418,803
60. Gladiator (2000) $187,670,866 *
61. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) $184,925,485
62. Dances with Wolves (1990) $184,208,848
63. Batman Forever (1995) $184,031,112
64. Fugitive, The (1993) $183,875,760
65. Ocean's Eleven (2001) $183,405,771
66. What Women Want (2000) $182,805,123
67. Perfect Storm, The (2000) $182,618,434
68. Liar Liar (1997) $181,395,380
69. Grease (1978) $181,360,000
70. Jurassic Park III (2001) $181,166,115
71. Mission: Impossible (1996) $180,965,237
72. Planet of the Apes (2001) $180,011,740
73. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) $179,870,271
74. Pretty Woman (1990) $178,406,268
75. Tootsie (1982) $177,200,000
76. Top Gun (1986) $176,781,728
77. There's Something About Mary (1998) $176,483,808
78. Ice Age (2002) $176,387,405
79. Crocodile Dundee (1986) $174,635,000
80. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) $173,585,516
81. Elf (2003) $173,381,405
82. Air Force One (1997) $172,888,056
83. Rain Man (1988) $172,825,435
84. Apollo 13 (1995) $172,071,312
85. Matrix, The (1999) $171,383,253
86. Beauty and the Beast (1991) $171,301,428
87. Tarzan (1999) $171,085,177
88. Beautiful Mind, A (2001) $170,708,996
89. Chicago (2002) $170,684,505
90. Three Men and a Baby (1987) $167,780,960
91. Meet the Parents (2000) $166,225,040
92. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991) $165,500,000
93. Hannibal (2001) $165,091,464
94. Catch Me If You Can (2002) $164,435,221
95. Big Daddy (1999) $163,479,795
96. Sound of Music, The (1965) $163,214,286
97. Batman Returns (1992) $162,831,698
98. Bug's Life, A (1998) $162,792,677
99. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) $161,963,000
100. Waterboy, The (1998) $161,487,252

Prayer Request

2004-07-10T15:29:00.000-05:00

Two days till our vacation. We have planned and dreamed about this for months. I'm afraid I'm going to mess it all up.

I need some dental work done. I've been putting it off. I'm just a bit of a chicken when it comes to having my teeth worked on. But, knowing it was a necessity, I'd planned on getting started on it when we got back (we're talking a couple of root canals).

Yesterday, I developed a toothache. My first ever. I managed to catch the dentist before she left for the weekend and she agreed to stay open to see me. She looked at the x-rays of the tooth that was hurting and said she'd put a temporary filling in it, but that when I get back it will require going to a specialist. Ok. Just get me through vacation and I'm all yours. She also prescribed an antibiotic for me to take if I felt I needed it...ie., if I still had discomfort after the numbness wore off.

I chose not to have the prescription filled last night. Bad choice. At some point last evening, roughly two minutes after all pharmacies everywhere closed, two teeth on the opposite side of my mouth started to hurt. It grew worse through the night and kept me up half the night. When I woke up this morning I was pain-free and thinking everything was good. Hah! We set off to run errands that were a good hour from home. The toothaches came back. We found a Walmart and got my prescription filled and I took one dose. I managed to drink the required water with it, but I can't eat anything. Not even soup. Tim says the pain is most likely caused by an infection and that the antibiotics should help. They haven't so far, but maybe a second dose will help.

A search through the yellow pages and several calls turned up no dentists that would see me before Monday. We need to leave around 5:00 Monday morning in order to make the check-in time for the house we rented.

So, to make a long story short, would you all please pray that the antibiotics kick in and relieve the pain so I can manage until we get back from vacation? I'd really appreciate it as I don't want to mess up everyone's vacation.

New Reads

2004-07-09T09:22:00.000-05:00

Three days till vacation. Not much time to blog so here's some new sites to check out.

Under the Rug. Written by Steve who's a government employee. Funny.

Go Ahead: Read My Mind. Melodee's a pastor's wife willing to give a peek into her life.

Joe Missionary. Joe shares his wit and wisdom from the mission field.

Morning Peace.

2004-07-08T09:40:00.000-05:00

Sitting here with my Coke C2, not sugar-free, but half the calories, half the carbs and way better taste than diet. Scooby is napping on my toes. Country music videos are playing on the television no one bothered to turn off. Megan and my niece, Ariel, are outside building hammocks for the kittens from beach towels and hangers suspended from the frame of the porch swing. Blizzard, Tigger and Clutch are not impressed but tolerating it all with mildly good humor. Matthew is in the kitchen reading while he eats breakfast. Life is pretty good and I am enjoying these moments of peace.

Soon enough the day's pace will change. Ariel must go back to my sister-in-law's house today. The girls know this, but will fight me just the same (they already have to some degree). When they realize the futility they will start in on me about Megan staying there tonight (already have to some degree). Today I have to stand firm in the face of pouting, girls for we are just four days from our vacation. It is time to get serious about this and start pulling things together and packing. Since we are renting a house, we will need to take a lot of things beyond our clothes and beach toys. I need to make lists of groceries we'll need and household supplies and go and shop for what we'll need. We need to decide on what games and other diversions to take along for down times at the house. I also need to get things in order here. There's mail to stop, bills to pay, pet arrangements to make, a vehicle to service, grass to mow, and a house to clean (it's so much nicer to come home to a clean house). There is also the fact (and I'm not proud of myself for feeling this way) that I can't wait to get Ariel out of here. She is a pretty unpleasant house guest. She is greedy...a real pig (we got a 30-cut pizza last night and there were only 3 pieces left for Tim when he got home and that after I said to eat no more). She is arrogant. No matter what Megan does or has, Ariel's always done or got better or is about to get better. And let's talk lazy. Good grief, my kids are not real go-getters when it comes to chores. They complain and drag their feet and don't do the best work they can, but Ariel does nothing and is quite proud of it telling me she doesn't do it at home either. She is also the queen of sneakiness. She does a lot of stuff she knows is wrong and then tries to blame it on Megan. Why Megan wants her around is beyond me.

Sigh....it's time to get up from here and get on with the day. The peace was nice while it lasted.

He's baaaaack!

2004-07-07T17:34:00.000-05:00

Cujo the kitten-killing, people-biting hound of Hades reappeared in my yard just a little while ago. This time he was after chicken. Sitting in the house watching Lion King 1 1/2 (really cute movie, by the way) with Matt, Megan and my niece, Ariel, when I heard what sounded like a big dog going nuts and some other noise I couldn't identify. It took me about half a beat to think of that dog and the kittens and go flying out the door. It was him alright and the kitties were in plain sight so I guess I'm glad he was preoccupied with the chickens. He was just flinging himself against the coop for all he was worth trying to get in. The noise I couldn't identify was the sound of terrified chickens. I screamed at him to try and scare him and the big dope loped over and rolled over on my feet grinning like an idiot. I grabbed his collar and told Matt, who had come out when he heard me screaming, to get a leash because I was taking the dog home and talking to the owners myself. Matt decided to go with me since the dog was so hard to control on the leash...friendly enough, just pulling...and I think he was worried about it getting cranky on me. Anyway, I took the dog to where I thought he belonged. Turns out it was the wrong house, but the man there knew the owners (who were conveniently not home) and took the dog over and put it in their house. He apologized and said he's been telling them to get rid of it. I told him to tell the owners that I was the one whose kitten got killed and now had to worry about my chickens and children as well. I said that knowing the dog can get out of their yard by jumping the fence and that it has killed other pets in the neighborhood as well as biting people the very least they could do is chain the dog up. How much intelligence does that take to figure out?! I also told him to let the owners know that if I ever see him in my yard again I will not bring him back. I will load him up and take him to a shelter other than our useless local one and that they could consider it a kindness if I do because the rest of the neighbors are threatening to shoot it on sight! I called Tim and told him about it and he is livid that they would be so irresponsible as to not chain the dog up and said if he gets home in time he is going to go down and talk to them. He is worried about the kids, of course, but when that dog hurt his baby girl's kitten it really ticked him off.

Surprise, surprise!

2004-07-07T10:38:00.000-05:00

I sure wasn't expecting it when I got on the scales at my First Place meeting last night, but there it was in big ol' black numbers....I LOST 4 POUNDS THIS WEEK! Woo-hoo!! This has got to be a freebie from God because I have been so wrapped up in the bible study and the issues it's been forcing me to deal with that I just haven't been giving the diet part of the program much attention lately and then throw in all the eating over the holiday.....

Wow. Now imagine what I could do if I was actually following the plan.

2004-07-06T22:15:00.000-05:00

Found this over at Jen Speaks, like her, I like a good either/or meme.

1. Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly? Mr. Kelly
2. The Great Gatsby or The Sun Also Rises? The Sun Also Rises
3. Count Basie or Duke Ellington? The Duke
4. Cats or dogs? Both. We have 2 dogs and 3 cats.
5. Matisse or Picasso? Matisse
6. Yeats or Eliot? Elliot
7. Buster Keaton or Charlie Chaplin? Not really a fan of either.
8. Flannery O’Connor or John Updike? O'Connor
9. To Have and Have Not or Casablanca? Casablanca
10. Jackson Pollock or Willem de Kooning? Pollock
11. The Who or the Stones? The Stones!
12. Philip Larkin or Sylvia Plath? Neither
13. Trollope or Dickens? Dickens
14. Billie Holiday or Ella Fitzgerald? Holiday
15. Dostoyevsky or Tolstoy? Tolstoy
16. The Moviegoer or The End of the Affair? No idea
17. George Balanchine or Martha Graham? No idea
18. Hot dogs or hamburgers? Hamburgers. Do you know what they make hotdogs out of?
19. Letterman or Leno? Letterman
20. Wilco or Cat Power? What?
21. Verdi or Wagner? Wagner
22. Grace Kelly or Marilyn Monroe? Grace Kelly
23. Bill Monroe or Johnny Cash? Johnny Cash
24. Kingsley or Martin Amis? No clue
25. Robert Mitchum or Marlon Brando? Mitchum
26. Mark Morris or Twyla Tharp? Tharp
27. Vermeer or Rembrandt? Rembrandt
28. Tchaikovsky or Chopin? Tchaikovsky
29. Red wine or white? Red
30. Noël Coward or Oscar Wilde? Wilde
31. Grosse Pointe Blank or High Fidelity? Grosse Pointe Blank
32. Shostakovich or Prokofiev? No clue
33. Mikhail Baryshnikov or Rudolf Nureyev? That's tough. I guess Baryshnikov.
34. Constable or Turner? Huh?
35. The Searchers or Rio Bravo? The Searchers
36. Comedy or tragedy? Comedy
37. Fall or spring? Fall
38. Manet or Monet? Monet
39. The Sopranos or The Simpsons? The Simpsons
40. Rodgers and Hart or Gershwin and Gershwin? Gershwins
41. Joseph Conrad or Henry James? James
42. Sunset or sunrise? Sunrise
43. Johnny Mercer or Cole Porter? Porter
44. Mac or PC? PC
45. New York or Los Angeles? NYC
46. Partisan Review or Horizon? Huh?
47. Stax or Motown? Motown
48. Van Gogh or Gauguin? Van Gogh
49. Steely Dan or Elvis Costello? Elvis
50. Reading a blog or reading a magazine? Blog
51. John Gielgud or Laurence Olivier? Olivier
52. Only the Lonely or Songs for Swingin’ Lovers? Only the Lonely
53. Chinatown or Bonnie and Clyde? Don't know
54. Ghost World or Election? Don't know
55. Minimalism or conceptual art? Neither
56. Daffy Duck or Bugs Bunny? Bugs
57. Modernism or postmodernism? Modernism, I guess
58. Batman or Spider-Man? Spidey's the man!
59. Emmylou Harris or Lucinda Williams? Emmylou
60. Johnson or Boswell? Huh?
61. Jane Austen or Virginia Woolf? Austen
62. The Honeymooners or The Dick Van Dyke Show? Honeymooners
63. An Eames chair or a Noguchi table? Eames chair
64. Out of the Past or Double Indemnity? Double Indemnity
65. The Marriage of Figaro or Don Giovanni? Marriage of Figaro
66. Blue or green? blue
67. A Midsummer Night’s Dream or As You Like It? As You Like It
68. Ballet or opera? Ballet
69. Film or live theater? Film
70. Acoustic or electric? Electric
71. North by Northwest or Vertigo? Vertigo
72. Sargent or Whistler? Whistler
73. V.S. Naipaul or Milan Kundera? No clue
74. The Music Man or Oklahoma? Oklahoma
75. Sushi, yes or no? Not no way, not no how.
76. The New Yorker under Ross or Shawn? Don't read it
77. Tennessee Williams or Edward Albee? Williams
78. The Portrait of a Lady or The Wings of the Dove? Never read either
79. Paul Taylor or Merce Cunningham? No clue
80. Frank Lloyd Wright or Mies van der Rohe? I like both, but maybe Wright a bit more.
81. Diana Krall or Norah Jones? Don't know
82. Watercolor or pastel? watercolor
83. Bus or subway? subway
84. Stravinsky or Schoenberg? no clue
85. Crunchy or smooth peanut butter? Smoooooth
86. Willa Cather or Theodore Dreiser? No clue
87. Schubert or Mozart? Mozart
88. The Fifties or the Twenties? 50s
89. Huckleberry Finn or Moby-Dick? Huck Finn
90. Thomas Mann or James Joyce? Joyce
91. Lester Young or Coleman Hawkins? No clue
92. Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman? Whitman
93. Abraham Lincoln or Winston Churchill? Lincoln
94. Liz Phair or Aimee Mann? Don't know
95. Italian or French cooking? Italian
96. Bach on piano or harpsichord? Piano
97. Anchovies, yes or no? Never ever.
98. Short novels or long ones? If they're well written I like them long because I don't want them to end.
99. Swing or bebop? Swing
100. "The Last Judgment" or "The Last Supper"? Don't know.

From picnics to kittens and bad dogs...

2004-07-06T16:02:00.000-05:00

Hi! Hope everyone had a great time celebrating the Fourth with family and friends. We got together with Tim's family on Sunday. There are about 30 of us in the immediate family and all were in the area for the holiday with the exception of one nephew. Tim's youngest sister hosted the picnic. Wow, the food! We had all the normal things like hotdogs and hamburgers, but Peggy and Ed, newly transplanted from the Delaware shore to central Pennsylvania, put their own touch on things with bushels of steamed whole crabs and shrimp. Mmm-mmm! We played volleyball, horseshoes and cards and set off fireworks after dark.

Yesterday Megan and I met up with Tim's sisters and all the nieces for "girls' day out." We had lunch and shopped (what else are 15 women going to do when they get together?). Then last night we were invited up on the ridge to John's house. He and my mom are living in his house for the summer months. Another big meal of barbecued ribs. Ugh. I do not need to eat again any time soon. Any-whoo, we had a really nice time. Tim didn't get home in time but I took my grandmother along and for once Mom was in a good mood and didn't spend the whole time criticizing the kids and me. John took both kids out to the field and let them target shoot with a .22 (he is a card-carry, convention-attending member of the NRA).

Today began with Tim calling asking me to bring some boxes of computer equipment he'd left in the shed down to the job site. The kids had to go with me because I needed Matt to help me lift the things and Megan couldn't stay here alone. That took us about half of the day. When we went out to feed the chickens we found our little black kitten dead near our neighbor's garden. I thought he'd probably been run over as there is a right away through the back and people drive through to access their backyards. Megan was crushed and couldn't be consoled. In desperation I asked her if she'd like to get another kitten. We had driven past a place with a "Free Kittens" sign last night so I said if she wanted to we could go look. Well, of course she wanted to go look. Matt said he'd go if I let him drive. The people had three kittens left. Matt and Megan each picked up one and each thought the one they held was the best one, so........ You can see where this is going can't you? Yep, we came home with two kittens. Tigger and Clutch. As in the auto part. It was either that or Brake Pad.

So we were getting the kitties settled when one of the neighbors spots them and asks about them. I tell them the sad story of Midnight's demise. And they proceeded to tell me that he didn't get hit. The stray dog that's been roaming the neighborhood the last couple of days killed him. Another neighbor had tried to beat the dog off with a broom. They had found out who the dog belonged to so I headed down the road to talk to the owners, but found the dog chained up in yet another neighbor's yard. He chained it because it bit him on the leg! He had called the authorities and told them all about it. They were supposed to be on the way. He told them they had until 4:00 or they could just come get the carcass. It's 5:30. I don't know how it turned out. All I know is that dog better not be running around the neighborhood anymore.

Simple Purpose

2004-07-03T18:29:00.000-05:00

Well, I've got a bit of time right now. Megan's outside having a water balloon fight with the neighbor's grandkids, Matt's at work, Tim isn't home yet and I have a double batch of peanut butter brownies in the oven (recipe at the end of the post). So, having nothing better to do at the moment or at least nothing else I want to do, I thought I'd go ahead and explain about God showing me what it is I'm supposed to be doing with myself.

I struggled through the first couple weeks of the First Place bible studies, all of the Purpose-Driven Life lessons and pretty much my whole Christian life trying to figure out what my purpose is. Basically, I was feeling pretty stupid for not being able to figure it out....like being almost 40 and still not knowing what you want to be when you grow up.

Then one morning earlier this week it came to me during my quiet time. Right now, at this point in my life, my purpose is to live a life as much like the woman described in Proverbs 31 as I possibly can. My "job" is to love, nurture and care for my family. I'm to be a godly example and build them up in Christ. I am to provide for their needs with a clean, comfortable home, nutritious food and all that goes with it.

Hmmmph! It didn't sound like very exciting or important stuff to me but God had me read I Corinthians 12. There Paul talks aaabout how individual parts of the body make up the whole, how each has a place and function that is vital to the whole and that if any one part suffers, the whole body suffers. So what does that have to do with me and my family? Well, if I fail to send them out into the world refreshed, rested, well fed and capable then their poor performance affects the whole body of Christ. It's a ripple effect that reaches the farthest reaches of the body. That sure makes picking up that stinky sock or filling up the ice tray for the millionth time seem a lot more important.

I also have come to realize that I'm not being fair to Tim nor fulfilling my purpose by always letting Tim know how unhappy I am about his long hours at work (he is a classic workaholic). For starters, I shouldn't be depending on him to meet my emotional needs. I should be depending on God. He should be enough. Anything I receive from Tim is an added blessing in life. Knowing I have no control over Tim's actions, I should be concentrating on my own. The godly woman of Proverbs 31 would not rant or cry or beg. She would not shut down in depression because her husband is so rarely home. She would get up off her butt and do her best to provide and maintain a comfortable home-hoping all the while that her actions would influence her husband and the decisions he makes. She would make home such a pleasant place that her husband would desire to be there.

That's where I am. Lots of lessons heard.....now to put them into practice.

PEANUT BUTTER BROWNIES

6 eggs
3 cups white sugar
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup shortening
1 tbsp. vanilla
4 cups unsifted flour
1 1/2 tbsp. baking powder
1 1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 cup chopped peanuts (optional)

Combine eggs, sugar, peanut butter, shortening and vanilla. Thoroughly blend. Add dry ingredients and mix only until mixture is smooth. Stir in peanuts. Spead dough into two lightly greased 15 1/2 x 10 1/2 x 1-inch pans or three 13 x 9 x 2-inch pans. Bake for 25 minutes.

Attitude of Submission

2004-07-03T09:47:00.000-05:00

It's a pretty slow Saturday morning around here. Megan had a friend spend the night and they are still sprawled on the air mattress watching cartoons and eating s'mores (I did make them eat a real breakfast first). Matt woke up earlier than he wanted to (grumpy) and cleaned his room so he could head to a friend's. They've discovered a small shop in the neighborhood (well kept secret) that is able to sell things very cheaply because the packaging was damaged. He's got money and it's burning a hole in his pocket. I'm not saying anything today. He got his first pay from the new job and can enjoy it before reality has to set in. Yesterday he surprised me with a George Foreman grill because he heard me say that meat cooked on one is considered fat-free on the diet plan. Wow.

My First Place bible study was about having an attitude of submission (you know, that thing I'm having trouble with). An attitude of submission means you say, "God, I'm ready to do whatever you want me to do." Then your faith is confirmed by action or obedience.

Do I tell God I'm ready to do anything and everything he asks of me? In theory, yes, I do, but then I got to thinking some more. Maybe I'm not always ready because I don't always realize God's asking something of me. Like this whole diet business. I never thought about the fact that God wants me to lose weight and be healthier...which would in turn make it easier for me to live his purposes. In this light, my failure to follow the diet or exercise is disobedience. Yikes! Not a comfortable thought at all, but (lol) I guess that's the point. I wonder what other areas I'm being disobedient in because I don't realize it's God telling me to do it rather than my own idea?

For encouragement this morning, God led me to Psalms 5 and from it I got these things:

*Pray to God (and only God) every morning and make my requests known...actually, He already knows them, but He wants me to bring them to Him and trust Him to take care of them.

*Because of His unfailing love, I can enter His house.

*I can worship Him in His own house.

*I must ask and then allow Him to lead me, tell me what to do, show me which way to go...

*I can take refuge in Him.

*I should joyfully sing His praises.

*He will give me joy.

*He surrounds the godly with His favor.

Talk about happy thoughts to start the day! I love how spending time with God first thing sets the tone for my day. When I don't get to it really makes a difference.

I also looked back over some recent journal entries this morning and was marveling at the things God's been teaching me lately. I don't think I've mentioned it, but He's made it clear what my purpose is these days. I will share about that later.

Monkeyshines, Tom-foolery and Shenanigans

2004-07-01T09:54:00.000-05:00

Feeling a wee bit silly today, so......

Classic rock! Without you the other genres
wouldn't exist! You are the raw and original
sound of rock! Other genres may try to imitate
your rawness, but they can never be like you!

What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Phoenix:
Phoenixes are litterally birds of fire. They are
brave and majestic and have the ability to be
reborn from their own ashes. You are strog
willed an confident- a true leader. Although
you can get down in the dumps occasionaly you
are never there for long. Many people flock
around you and like you as a friend.

What Mythological Creature Are You (Many Results and Beautiful Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Sandals- peaceful, daydreamy, and thoughtful, you
often find yourself staring into space. When
you aren't out helping others you are often
just dreaming away. You enjoy the company of
friends sometimes but enjoy peace and quiet.
People turn to you for advice, and admire the
peace you seem to have found. [please vote!
thank you! :)]

What Kind of Shoe Are You?(new and updated results!!)
brought to you by Quizilla

You are CLARISSA EXPLAINS IT ALL. She is a rad
chick with absolutely no fashion sense. If you
are a guy and chose this... you are gay.

Which old school Nickelodeon show are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

And just in case that wasn't enough for you...

100 THINGS ABOUT ME

1. I was born on my mom's birthday (Aug. 15).
2. I was born in the Chinese year of the dragon.
3. My middle name is Lynn.
4. I like peanut butter, but loathe peanuts (or any nut for that matter).
5. My hair is some shade of dark brown (depends on what box of L'Oreal I pick up).
6. I live in the suburbs.
7. I wish I lived on a farm.
8. I have chickens and rabbits anyway.
9. I had a goat, but the neighbors didn't like it.
10. I got married when I was 20.
11. I will celebrate 20 years of marriage this year (now you know how old I am).
12. I accepted Christ when I was 28.
13. I have a mole on my left big toe (in case you have to identify the body).
14. My left ear is pierced 3 times.
15. My right ear is pierced once.
16. I have lots of freckles.
17. I studied journalism in college.
18. The only degree I got was my MRS.
19. I give everyone (including pets) nicknames.
20. Tim calls me "Ace."
21. My dad called me "Sam."
22. I saw Jaws when I was 12.
23. I am terrified of sharks.
24. I won't go in the ocean because sharks might get me.
25. I'm going to the beach for vacation.
26. Snakes scare me more than sharks.
27. I can't sing worth a lick.
28. I like organizing big events.
29. I read 2 or 3 books at a time.
30. I read an average of 10 books a month.
31. I don't watch much television.
32. Fall is my favorite season.
33. I collect old books and first editions.
34. Macintosh is my favorite candle scent.
35. Banana Nut Bread is a close second.
36. I was once approved to begin studies to become a lay pastor in the Churches of God, General Conference.
37. I wear a toe ring.
38. Canada is the only foreign country I've been to.
39. I'm an only child.
40. I can trace my family on my mom's side back to John and Priscilla Alden (you know, the Mayflower).
41. My other ancestors were Scotch, Irish, and Swiss Mennonites.
42. I have always been interested in Native American history and culture.
43. I have been on two mission trips to the Navajo reservation.
44. I've always kept a journal.
45. Right now I have 2 journals plus my blog.
46. Shrimp Scampi is my favorite food.
47. Chinese greenbeans with chicken is nearly tied.
48. 9 is my favorite number.
49. I like taking quizzes.
50. I am a Pepsiholic.
51. I am shy (anything else is just an act).
52. My sense of humor is warped.
53. I once shook hands with Bill Clinton (ewwwwwwww!).
54. I was never a Girl Scout.
55. I was in Civil Air Patrol.
56. I lived on a wildlife preserve when I was a kid.
57. I like gardening.
58. I like to cook.
59. I hate washing dishes.
60. I'm a slob at heart.
61. I actually like John Denver's music.
62. I like Bobby Vinton, too (thanks for that Mom).
63. Cheesy comedies are my favorite kind of movies.
64. Dirty Dancing is my all-time favorite movie.
65. I like to sit on the porch during a storm.
66. I once made an alcoholic punch (college days) that is still believed to have disolved the ladle.
67. My dream car is a classic red Mustang convertible.
68. I belong to a sorority-Kappa Delta.
69. I don't like to sweat.
70. Salty snacks are my downfall.
71. I live next to my mom.
72. I don't like working with elementary kids.
73. I get along really well with people older than me.
74. My eyes are brown.
75. I'm very good at trivia games (a veritable fount of useless facts).
76. I've never had a broken bone.
77. I hate public speaking.
78. Sappy movies make me cry.
79. The Pittsburgh Steelers are my favorite football team.
80. I've been to the studio where Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood was filmed.
81. I've met Mr. McFeely, Joe Negri and Purple Panda.
82. I lived in Orlando for 2 years.
83. I'd rather go to Universal Studios than Disney World.
84. I put up more decorations for Fall than for Christmas.
85. I love parades.
86. I can't fold a fitted sheet worth a darn.
87. I'm willing to act like a total moron in the interest of youth ministry.
88. Talk radio puts me to sleep.
89. I listen to (and like) most of the same music as my kids.
90. I bite my nails.
91. I can't see a thing without my glasses.
92. My checks have Peanuts characters on them.
93. I hate secrets.
94. Trading Spaces is my favorite show.
95. I sponsor a child thru Compassion International.
96. I enjoy garage sales, flea markets, auctions and thrift shops.
97. I don't like coffee.
98. I do like cappucino.
99. I actually like our poodle (my family tends to think this makes me certifiable).
100. I function best under pressure.

Under the Microscope

2004-06-30T22:33:00.000-05:00

So, God is really working hard on me these days. I've been forced to look at my faults under a microscope. Not a pretty sight, these sins that keep me from God and his purposes for my life. Daily, I pray to be directed to the scripture I need to read. More often than not, God has been sending me to James 4, verses 7-10 in particular:

So humble yourselves before God. Resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, you hypocrites. Let there be tears for the wrong things you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on him, he will lift you up and give you honor. (NLT)

I'm guessing the repeat readings mean I'm not getting the message. Ok, I'm not guessing. It all sounds so easy but humbling myself and admitting dependence goes completely against the grain of who I am. I was raised to be independent and strong. Now God is telling me that for him to bless me as he wants to, I have to be broken, dependent and weak. I have to be nothing at all without him. This has been the major stumbling block in my walk, this complete letting go. I haven't been able to do it. I always have to have that little bit of control.

Today's lesson in the First Place bible study was about how things may be impossible for us, but with God all things are possible. What a "coincidence." The rest of this week's lessons will build on that. I pray that God speaks to me and that my heart is open to what he says. I pray that he will show me how to let go and give my life over to him completely, no holding back. He's already given me the first two tools:

1. I am to resist Satan. Each time I resist him his hold grows weaker, his influence and power to separate me from the Father wane.

2. I am to draw close to God. The closer I am to him, the closer he is to me. When I am near him I walk in his power. He protects me, strengthens me, prospers me.

It's a dirty job...

2004-06-29T17:13:00.000-05:00

but somebody had to do it, and that somebody was me. The job I'm referring to is cleaning out the chicken coop. I love having chickens, but cleaning the coop is a nasty job. We're talking dust, spiders, the occasional mouse, flies, feathers, squawking, flapping birds and lots and lots of chicken poop. It was time to do it anyway, but I had to do it today so I could put the new row of nesting boxes in. (We found it sitting along side a country road on Sunday with a "FREE" sign on it.) Glad it's done for now and will only be that bad one more time this summer. As soon as we get back from vacation later this month, the majority of the birds are going to be butchered and caring for the rest will be much easier. Six chickens make a lot less poop than 27!

Note: Yeah, it really is gross, but I love it. I'm a country girl trapped in the 'burbs. I'd actually love to live on a small homestead and raise more animals. Poop and all. :o)

Hope

2004-06-28T19:56:00.000-05:00

Megan stayed with the friends we visited with yesterday. I drove up to get her this evening. She had a great time and even learned to drive the quad by herself (very, very slowly). She's been very calm since I've picked her up. I mention this because she was the same way yesterday. The pediatrician started her on a new ADD medication last week--Adderall. Is she just wearing herself out lately or is the calmness a result of the med? The first two days she didn't seem any different. Maybe it needs time to build up in her system? I don't know much about Adderall and this is just a 30-day trial so I guess we shall see what happens. I am praying so hard that this is finally a med that will help her. Just a little while ago I told her no about something and she just said "ok" and walked away. That NEVER happens. She fights me on everything big or small. I view the incident as nothing less than a miracle!

Why Ask Why?

2004-06-28T09:21:00.000-05:00

Here are some questions to ponder on a Monday morning.

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

If a lawyer can be disbarred and clergymen defrocked, can electricians be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed and tree surgeons disembarked?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

When you lose your temper, shouldn't that mean you get happy?

If someone is deceased, did they just come back from the dead?

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

If humans evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Rainy Monday

2004-06-28T08:33:00.000-05:00

Monday morning. Rainy.

Looks like no sitting on the porch swing for me today, but that's okay. I got plenty of swinging done yesterday. Friends of ours have a small farm and Tim is helping them build a large metal garage/shed type structure so we spent the day there and had great fun. The kiddos rode the quad, played basketball, and caught tadpoles and frogs in the pond. The menfolk worked on the building and loaded cattle to be sent for butchering (ours was not in this bunch and won't go until September). We women prepared the dinner, walked the property talking flowers (my friend has several beautifully planted sitting areas on her property as well as numerous flowerbeds....each one a themed surprise), kept an eye on the kids, ran cool drinks to the men and of course sat visiting on the swing and surrounding chairs with a multitude of farm cats vying for position on our laps. It was a great day, but I am sunburned and tired today so a rainy day to curl up with a good book sounds wonderful.

Cancel that.

I nearly forgot we are only two weeks from our vacation. I've got a million things to do!

ABOUT THE GARAGE SALES:

Amy asked if we found anything unusual on Saturday. No, can't say that we did, but we did find a few bargains along with the fact that Matthew has a great talent for making deals. He must get it from Tim, who is also gifted that way. Me? I just pay the price on the tag. Anyway, the big deal of the day was a set of golf clubs for Matt. They are very nice condition, nearly new. Matt was able to talk the man into selling them to him for $40! At another sale, we found rack after rack of girls clothing....ALL IN MEGAN'S SIZE!! All of it was Old Navy, Limited Too or J.C. Penney's. A lot of it still had the store tags on it. I've mentioned it before, when it comes to bargain hunting for clothes, Megan is a whiz! She spent at least half and hour sorting through clothes (her brother begging her to finish the whole time) and we ended up with a whole paper grocery bag of new and gently used name brand clothes for $15. At another sale she picked up a couple of hooded sweatshirts for $1 that run about $40 new. Matthew collected a whole stack of hardcover horror books for no more than 25 cents each. They picked up some other small things, including a vintage 1960's metal bowling game that's pretty cool.

The thing I liked best was that the door was finally opened to meet and talk with our freaky neighbor. I don't know his real name. He's a professional D.J. and goes by the name of Fat Daddy. He flies the American and Confederate flags in front of his home. The dashboard of the van he drives is covered with his collection of small skulls and skeletons. A life-size skeleton rides in the passenger seat. As I said, Fat Daddy is a bit freaky and very large. He is an intimidating character to say the least. He's lived across from us for about two years now and I've never had occasion to speak with him or his wife (and was a little scared to waltz over and introduce myself) till I visited their yard sale on Saturday. We actually ended up talking for a while. He is quite nice. Odd. But nice and he is good to my kids (major brownie points). I don't see our families being great friends, but it is nice to know the neighbors and be on speaking terms and hey...you never know when the chance will present itself to talk of more serious matters.

Saturday

2004-06-26T08:06:00.000-05:00

A beautiful day, mellow kids....we're off to the garage sales. Have an awesome weekend!

By the way, has everyone's Blogdom of God roll disappeared along with the whole TTLB Ecosystem? Or is it just me?

A Lazy Day on the Porch Swing

2004-06-24T20:42:00.000-05:00

It was an absolutely gorgeous day here-temperature around 80* and loads of sunshine along with a nice breeze to keep it from getting too hot. I really didn't have anything very pressing to do so I drug my books, my bible, my journal, writing paper and my ever present water bottle out to the swing and had a lovely day writing letters, reading and writing down the things swirling around in my head.

Just so you don't think I was completely lazy, I did get up to throw the occasional load of laundry in the washer and I had to feed the kids as well as the animals. Assembling the new Slip 'n' Slide pulled me away from the swing, too, as did running Matt to his new job as a busboy at Jioio's (home of that pizza I keep telling you about).

Hey, I did try a new recipe for breakfast (but it'd be good for lunch, too). It came out of the back of my First Place bible study. I know some of you are trying to lose, too, so thought I'd pass it along. Low in fat, low in calories, low in carbs.

OPEN-FACE HAWAIAN SANDWICH
1 English muffin, split
2 slices tomato
3/4oz low fat ham slices, divided
2 pineapple rings
1 slice low fat cheese, halved

Put one slice of tomato on each muffin half, then divide the ham evenly between the two. Add a pineapple ring to each muffin. Top with cheese. Put in hot oven or broil until cheese is melted.

This was so good and very filling and yet it hardly put a dent in my food exchanges for the day.

Where were you when......

2004-06-23T07:40:00.000-05:00

Here's a little something that's making its way around the blogosphere. I borrowed it from Susan over at Sisters' Weblog.

Where Were You When...

1. ... you heard that Ronald Reagan died?

I was at home with the kids (summer vacation had begun). We don't turn on the television much except to watch movies so the news was probably hours old before I heard. I was sorry to hear of the passing of a president who will most likely, in death, become a mythic figure much like John Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln.

2. ... on September 11, 2001?

I was home alone that morning when I turned on the television. The first thing I did was phone the church. The second thing I did was phone Tim. I remember sitting there actually shaking and in disbelief. Tim didn't believe me when I told him the towers were completely gone. Then when Flight 93 went down less than an hour from here.... I don't think I've ever been that scared in my life, but I made one choice that in retrospect I wish I could change. When I heard about everyone taking their kids out of school, I left mine there. My reasoning was that our rural school would most likely not be a high priority target and that it would be better to keep things as normal as possible for the kids. As it turned out, so many kids were pulled out (my daughter was the only child left in her classroom) that the schools couldn't begin to function in a normal way.

3. ... you heard that Princess Diana died?

I had just woke up on that Sunday morning and shook Tim awake. It was so unbelievable. Even our pastor addressed it in the service. There had been such constant coverage of her life that it was a real blow. It was like losing someone I knew. Weird.

4. ... you heard Kurt Cobain had died?

I don't remember ever hearing the news. If I did, it probably just didn't register because I didn't listen to his music.

5. Take one for The Gipper: What's your favorite flavor of jelly bean?

Jelly Belly Pear

6. ... Magic Johnson announced he was retiring from the NBA due to AIDS?

Probably at home watching the news. I don't really remember.. I just remember thinking it was a shame, but that when you play with fire you're bound to get burnt eventually.

7. ... Reagan was shot?

At school. I had stayed after for practice for some sport and I called home to ask my mom something and she told me. I passed the news along to my teammates and coach. It really didn't affect us. We just went on with practice.

8. ... the Challenger exploded?

This is one I will never forget. We lived in Orlando, Florida at the time and I was working in a clothing store. We all knew the shuttle was set to launch so hauled a television from the breakroom out to the counter. When it was time, we all (customers, too) stepped out into the parking lot because whatever launched from the space center you could see in Orlando. We all watched it go up and then just seconds later when the explosion happened and the smoke trail divided we got really quiet and someone said "Something's wrong." We ran back inside to the television and were glued to it the rest of the day.

9. Where were you when the 0J verdict was announced?

At home watching. I was glad it was over, but wondered if the legal system would ever be the same.

My Son the Man......Almost

2004-06-22T14:37:00.000-05:00

Matthew had his Senior pictures taken this morning. The way things were set up I was able to be out of the way, but still watch what was going on. He looked so handsome in both his formal and casual outfits. He also looked so grown up. It hit me hard, how quickly he is growing up. Sometime during the past months he has physically left boyhood behind and become a young man, losing the last of the baby roundness and acquiring a slightly harder edge to his looks.

Tomorrow morning he has a job interview with Wal-mart. Just last week when I forced him to apply, he was, shall we say, less than enthusiastic. Now having seen the school he hopes to attend after graduation and hearing the cost, he is gung-ho on pretty much any job that turns up and helps him achieve his goal. He is beginning to leave his childish ways behind, too.

It seems that lately my life has been revolving around Matt. Others who have gone before me assure me that we are just getting started with the whirlwind that is Senior Year. I've been thinking that while we need any and all income available to us for the next few years, I may take the chance and pass on driving any trips for work this year unless they are during the school day. There will be so many important events in Matt's life this year and I don't want to miss them. There will also be a lot of things to deal with, decisions to make, questions to ask, etc. Matt's going to need his mom one more year.

I will be making some adjustments this coming year, too. While I want to be there for Matt, I'm also going to be praying for God to help me begin to let go and hold my son lightly rather than tightly. The time is fast approaching to trust him to God and the seeds that have been planted over the years by his father and I as well as the countless Sunday school teachers, camp counselors, pastors, and youth workers in whose care he has rested.

Answered Prayer

2004-06-21T10:09:00.000-05:00

I see that Blogs4God gave my post about honoring Tim a mention and a few people have actually stopped by to read it, so guess I should post an update on the situation.

The news is good! Your prayers are working! Yesterday afternoon while we were talking, the name of a man from our old church came up. I don't even remember the rest of the conversation but at one point I asked Tim if he really thought he was ready to sit down to dinner with the man. He said yes, and cynic that I am, I asked, "Really?" Tim said that, yes, he was. That he wasn't even angry with the couple he had felt used him to achieve their goals in the church any more. He said that one day this past week everything just came together for him and he is over it. I certainly saw evidence of it in his willingness to attend Sunday school and also in the way he greeted people. He was a lot more open to contact.

Now that he is ready to let go of his anger and hurt, I pray that he will begin to walk more closely with God and allow the fellowship of other believers help him retain his integrity in all things. All of that will make my job of honoring him much easier.

Fathers' Day

2004-06-20T21:43:00.000-05:00

Happy Father's Day! I hope you all enjoyed a good day with your families. We had a nice day, getting up early so the kids could give Tim his gift before church. They gave him a drill press. I know, I know, but it was exactly what he wanted. My mom and John were here for dinner. I made a roast, mashed potatoes with gravy, a tossed salad (so I could be good) and homemade biscuits (all with the kids' help). We had a very nice meal and visit with them for a change. Conversation flowed freely and we didn't feel like my mom was judging us, which was nice. Tim was even sociable rather than withdrawing as he often does when around them.

Our pastor is still in Indonesia so we had a guest speaker. He spoke on the passage about being salt and light from Matthew. He went a direction with it that I hadn't heard anyone speak on before and was quite interesting. He chose to relate it to the tendency of Christians (the whole church, too) to isolate themselves from unbelievers in their daily lives, but still think they are doing a great job of reaching out. He challenged us to get out there and go where the unbelievers are. He also asked us to consider that maybe the church as a whole keeps its people so busy taking care of its own that there is no time to minister to the people on the outside. Oh, wow. That is how Tim and I have always felt about reaching people. We were used to our thoughts on the matter being met with blank stares, resistance, refusal or hostility. To find people who are like minded is so incredibly energizing and uplifting.

Whoa.....

2004-06-19T20:18:00.000-05:00

My mind is not quite ready to wrap around the reality of having a son who is about to become an adult. Today was a milestone. We went and looked at our first college, Pittsburgh Technical Institute. Actually, it will probably be the only one we look at. Matt loves it and it offers exactly what he wants. Network Systems Security and Forensics....the wave of the future in computer careers, so I am told. And it's offered in a two year program with very little of that pesky gen ed stuff. After sitting and talking with his admissions contact person for a couple of hours, Tim and I are very impressed with the curriculum, placement program, support system, etc. We definitely think it's the place for Matt. He still has a year of high school, but it will take me that long to adjust, I think.

One perk for me in all of this.....the area's only Ikea store is just five minutes away from the campus. Yes! I convinced Tim to take me there for the first time when we finished. Oh man, forget Disney World. I wanna go to Ikea. That place is totally awesome. The good news? Tim liked it, too, so I'm gonna get to go again.

Learning to Post Pictures

2004-06-17T16:13:00.000-05:00

Ouch! I've got a plank in me eye.

2004-06-17T14:13:00.001-05:00

This diet stuff is hard. So, I'm spending a lot of time following Alicia's advice to open my bible every time I feel tempted or weak. It's a good thing. All this time spent in God's Word is probably doing more to restore my spirit than anything else has. I mean, I read the bible before, but I have no willpower at all so I am whipping out my bible about 100 times a day (ok, slight stretching of the truth, but it's a lot) looking for something to get me past a rough spot. And God's really working on me. He's digging down deep and getting at some core issues he thinks I need to work on.

One of the things God's making me examine is my struggle to honor my husband. This has been on my mind and a huge problem area for me lately. Since we left our old church, Tim has been pretty bitter about some things and he's really kept himself detatched from anything to do with the church. Yes, I know we've been in bible studies and Sunday school and attend services, but he's held back in all of them. He isn't totally shutdown to God, but he kind of is to God's people. And distancing himself from other believers and therefore a lot of teaching has affected his walk. Please don't get the idea that he's out there doing awful things, but there are lots of little things that have slipped into his life that have been bugging me and making it hard for me to honor him. I want to obey God, but Tim's actions and my bitterness and resentment get in the way.

Then the other night at my First Place group, one of the other women shared how she couldn't submit to her husband at all. As she talked, I got a pretty clear picture of how ungodly her attitude was and how out of line I felt her thinking was. That's when I started thinking about Jesus's sermon on the mount when he advised taking the plank out of your own eye before condemning someone else.

Uh-oh.

God, does that mean you think my attitudes toward Tim are ungodly?

Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!

But God, look at how he's acted. Don't I deserve to me upset? Aren't my resentments justified?

Stacy, have you ever done anything wrong?

...yes...

Do you think your wrong doings have hurt me?

Yes, I'm sure they did.

Do you think I had a right to be angry?

Yes.

Would I have been justified in punishing you?

Yes.

Did I punish you?

No.

What did I do?

Showed me mercy.

And?

Forgave me.

And?

Loved me.

So, what do you think you need to do about Tim?

Nothing. I need to work on me, right? I need to let go of my resentment and forgive him.

Anything else?

Love him and...gulp...honor him as the head of this family even if he doesn't deserve it?

And why is that?

Because it's what you did (and still do) for me even though I don't deserve it. Because I made a promise to you and Tim when we got married. Because my own living example of obediance to you will encourage him to change more than anything I can say or withhold. Because it will please you.

You've got it. Now go and live it.

Do You Speak My Language: Part 2

2004-06-17T13:43:00.000-05:00

Ok, here's the much anticipated conclusion to my list of local terms.

Ats: That's

Church Key: A bottle opener

Crick: A creek or a stiffness in one's neck.

Dupa: A person's posterior.

Gutchies: Underwear

Sammitches: Sandwiches

Sketti: Spaghetti

Slippy: Slippery

Spicket: A faucet

Stoop: A small porch

That's it, Fort Pitt: That's all.

Worsh: Wash

Yunz: You ones/all of you, as in, "Can yunz hear me now?"

What's Your Theme Song?

2004-06-16T23:33:00.000-05:00

I'll Tumble For Ya by Boy George. youre so lost in
the 80s but your lovin it!! nothign can stop
your optomizim and good feelings!

What's Your Theme Song?
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Which Blues Brother are You?

2004-06-16T23:11:00.000-05:00

CONGRADULATIONS
u are elwood
ur a bit of a speed demon and a little reckless but
ur just so lovable, keep up the good work but
try to remember, the cops can be ur friends do
not run from them

BLUES BROTHERS (which one r u)NOW WITH PICS!!!
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First Place

2004-06-16T09:26:00.000-05:00

I was too tired last night to really get into how the meeting went, but I wanted to let you know.

We met for the second time last night and had more of a chance to share and get to know each other a little more. I am feeling so blessed by these ladies. They are just awesome! They are so warm and supportive and encouraging. They are also very honest. The talk and the sharing goes far beyond the superficial. Everyone, including newbies like me, felt comfortable enough to share their personal struggles and not just those centered around food. It was so amazing to me that everyone felt safe enough to do that. The love and support were unconditional. I have needed a group like this for a very long time. These women are everything the women at my old church were unable or unwilling to be. It is absolutely wonderful to be able to ask for prayer for what I really need it for rather than for what doesn't make anyone else uncomfortable or leave me feeling judged and found wanting. Between the ladies and the bible study I am feeling valued and loved in the church for the first time in a long, long while. I can't praise and thank God enough for bringing me to this group and these women!

As for the diet...I don't think I lost anything the first week. Maybe a pound or two at most, but we had our initial weigh-in last night. Since my blood pressure tested high, I've been being very good except for one thing. I need to drink more water. Could you all pray that I'd have the thirst of a camel?

Thanks everyone!

2004-06-15T20:59:00.000-05:00

I wanted to thank everyone for all the support with the whole weight loss deal. You guys are the best and your love, advice and prayers have really encouraged me the last couple of days.

Alicia, thank you for your advice to open my bible every time I feel tempted or weak. I started doing that last night and let me tell you....I have been doing a lot of reading. It's been wonderful. God's got a lot to tell me. If you have a blog, please let us know the address if you don't mind. I'd love to check it out.

Rita, you are so right about how fortunate I am to be part of a support group. We met for the second time tonight and really started to open up and share and get to know each other. What an incredible group of women. I have the feeling I'm going to make some great friends.

And Sharon, your prayers always lift me up and they always come at just the right time. You, sweetie, are a treasure and I am blessed to have come to "know" you and have you in my life.

Thanks again. Love ya all!

To Draft or Not to Draft

2004-06-14T08:01:00.000-05:00

An article in the latest issue of Family Circle has me questioning whether I am as patriotic and supportive of my country as I've always thought I was. The article is about the draft. Being the mother of a son who is 17 1/2 and will be graduating from high school next year, it's a topic of great interest to me. Consider the items below as presented in FC.

The big question is: Is the draft being reinstated?
Well, the answer gets a little tricky. The administration says it isn't going to happen, but as Ron Paul, M.D., a Republican congressman from Texas said, "You don't listen to what they say, you watch what they do."

So, what points to the draft making a comeback? For starters, our troops are spread very thinly through two-thirds of the world's countries and the high casualty rates in Iraq and Afghanistan have greatly reduced recruitment and reenlistment levels. FC reports that in a poll taken last year by Stars and Stripes, the Pentagon-funded newspaper for service personnel, 49 percent of respondents were not planning to reenlist. Our country is committed to a long-lasting presence in the Middle East. If no one is reenlisting, we are going to run out of troops. Personnel must come from somewhere.

In addition, 40 percent of the troops now being rotated into Iraq are National Guard members and reservists...a level not seen since the Korean War.

If House and Senate bills HR163 and S89 pass, college will no longer be a loophole to avoid active duty. All men and women ages 18-26 would be eligible once they graduate high school. Plus the Smart Border Declaration was signed by Canadian and U.S. officials in 2001. It will effectively keep draft dodgers in this country.

The Selective Service admits it is planning for a possible draft of Arabic linguists, computer experts and medical personnel-doctors, nurses and technicians. The Vietnam War was the last time doctors were drafted. Also, according to the Selective Service Annual Performance Plan for 2004, before next March 31 draft boards must be potentially operational within two and a half months of a return to conscription. The plan also calls for testing the draft lottery, examination system and the system that classifies, places and monitors conscientious objectors.
They know where our kids are.
The U.S. spends $3 billion annually on recruiting. Did you know a great deal of that money is spent in schools? The No Child Left Behind Act, signed by President Bush two years ago, includes a provision that if secondary schools fail to release the names, addresses and phone numbers of students to military recruiters, they will lose their Federal funding. Schools must allow military recruiters the same access to students received by civilian recruiters and colleges.
High-school juniors and seniors are given the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery tests and recruiters then show up at their homes.

I've always considered it a person's duty to serve his (or her) country if called upon. It is part of the price to be paid for the freedom we enjoy. But as the "war" in Iraq continues I find myself questioning more and more my support of it, or at least of the way it has been handled, and now I wonder just how willing I would be to give my son to the cause. If the draft is reinstated and he is called, I would expect him to serve. It's the way he's been raised. It's the way his parents were raised. In the meantime, there is nothing wrong with exercising some of those freedoms we so gallantly defend and letting my voice be heard as a concerned citizen and questioning the rather sneaky way the government is going about things.

There are two things you can do now if you have concerns.
1. Call the Capitol in Washington, D.C. (202-224-3121) or go to the web sites www.house.gov and www.senate.gov for your congressman's address or email. Write him about your concerns.
2. You are legally entitled to block your children's names, address and phone number from being given to the military recruiters by their schools. To do this, mail a letter to the school district headquarters (preferably by certified mail), with a copy to the school principal, directing that no information about your child may be released to armed forces representatives.

Be Careful What You Ask For

2004-06-13T21:59:00.000-05:00

I shared that I started the First Place weight loss program this past week. I also shared how I was feeling so stressed over things with Megan and how I really hadn't done so well with the diet (I eat for comfort). I don't remember if I actually mentioned that I was praying for something that would make me get serious and stick to the plan, but I was.

God answered me. I am being very, very good about eating only what I should. I just wish He hadn't chosen to scare the bejeebers out of me to get through to me. But He did.

Somewhere along the way I jokingly said I was sure my blood pressure was up. Yet at the same time, I hadn't felt good since Thursday. Not really sick, but just not right. Last night when I was at Wal-mart I walked past one of those blood pressure machines and thought "why not?"

It hurt. I probably should have stopped it like the directions said, but I wanted to see what the results were. 166/85 is not a good thing. I am scared straight.

Tomorrow I call the doctor.

IN OTHER NEWS....

I didn't go watch Matt play on Friday. Hardly anyone did. Matt said there was only one teen other than the 4 who'd been asked to provide music there. Ouch! At least Matt had a good time hanging out with his friends and seeing their parents. I don't know what the turnout means for the plans to restart the youth group. I hope whatever they do, they make sure they're in God's will and not just jumping in because they think they need a youth group. Before I left I was struggling with the relevancy of the group because all of the youth except my own kids were attending youth groups at other churches. Their needs were already being met, so why reinvent the wheel? I was trying to figure out a new way to minister.

Church was good today. The senior pastor is on a mission trip to Indonesia (that's not why it was good) and the youth pastor filled in. He spoke on Romans chapter 8 and about how a lot of Christians these days just don't get it and are very complacent because heaven and eternity seem so far away. How it's like we know we're saved so why work on it in this lifetime....there's plenty of time.

Matt, Megan and I are meeting with the youth pastor tomorrow.

I Learned Two Things

2004-06-12T15:17:00.000-05:00

Armed with a full tank of gas, an empty trunk and the classified ads, the kiddos and I set out in search of treasure in the form of other people's castoffs.

Garage sale number one offered lots of baby clothes and items. Not really something I'm hoping to have need of. Matt bought another Stephen King book. Stop two resulted in the purchase of a big vanilla pudding scented cake candle. It's burning now....mmmmm. Stop three had lots of antiques, snowmen and be still my heart...chickens! Unfortunately, prices were high. There was a small flea market in town because of the joint 150th birthday of the town/69th annual county firemen's parade. Nothing we couldn't live without, though we returned to the car to find a dog cage we hadn't bought in the back seat. We had to hunt the owner and move it to the correct vehicle. Megan found a book at the last stop before we headed to Derry for a sale at the local Christian school.

The school is where I learned one thing. My daughter is probably a better bargain hunter than I am. I'm not big on searching through stuff. I'm sure I miss some good stuff that way, but I just don't have the patience. Megan, who when it comes to anything else has the attention span of a gnat, systematically sifted through an entire classroom filled with clothes one item at a time. Matt and I had long passed our boredom thresholds, but she contentedly worked her way through it all....holding up, checking quality and size, trying on, refolding, etc. Once she poked me to rouse me from my coma-like state, I had to admit I was quite proud of her. She managed to find two pairs of slacks, a vest, a skort, a blouse, pajama pants and something else, all in like-new condition and all from Old Navy or Limited,Too. It cost me a whole $1.25. I guess it was worth the wait. I could learn a lot about patience and perserverance from Megan.

The other thing I learned is that Tim needs to take Matt out driving. I am always the one that gets to do it. Matt did the driving today. I nearly had at least 3 heart attacks today. I don't know what was up, but he sure wasn't doing a good job of paying attention. He wants to go take his test, but if he is goofing up when I'm in the car with him, it doesn't give me a lot of confidence about how he'll do out on the road alone.

Walking the Talk

2004-06-11T12:31:00.000-05:00

Reid, shares what happens when he gets a second chance with a homeless man. Keep the Kleenex handy.

What Do You Think?

2004-06-11T11:39:00.000-05:00

Our old church is trying to resurrect the youth program. Tonight they are having a kick-off party/coffee house kind of thing. Matt used to be part of the praise team at the church. He was asked, along with a couple of other teens, to play tonight. He's excited about getting to play as part of a band and for an audience. He wants Tim and I to go and watch him.

I'm not sure what to do. On the one hand, I'd love to see Matt play. Plus, I love all the youth at the old church. It would be great to see them. I want the best for them and am always willing to support their efforts. On the other hand, I love all the youth at the old church. They were a huge part of my life and my family's life for a long time. I have been with all them since they started youth group. Youth pastors came and went, but I was always there. I've reached a point where seeing them would for me be bittersweet, but not a temptation to return. That door is closed. What I'm afraid of is making any transition difficult for them or giving them false hope that I'm coming back. I know from experience that some of them have problems letting go and moving on.

So, do I disappoint my son and stay home or do I go and take the chance of stirring things up?

Singing the Blues

2004-06-10T20:06:00.000-05:00

This has not been a good day. In fact, as a day, it pretty much sucked.

Have your children ever pushed you to the brink of totally losing it? After an incredible day yesterday, where Megan was pleasant and at least somewhat obedient, she woke up in a whole different mood today. If you don't know, she has Attention Deficit Disorder, which in her case means she has an incredibly hard time focusing or maintaining attention. Because of that she can seem rather scatterbrained, forgetful, and willful. For the last six months to a year, she has become quite belligerent and openly defiant. Every single thing she is told to do, asked to do, or forbidden to do ends in a battle. No matter how big or small the issue, she fights it. Punishments don't work. They just make her act out all the more. We are thinking perhaps there is something else, specifically Oppositional Defiance Disorder, going on. I need to take her to a psychiatrist to be evaluated. Anyway, Megan pushed me as close as I've ever been to the breaking point today. Besides her actions, she has learned well that words can cut like a knife and I've been on the receiving end of quite a few nasty comments today. It breaks my heart that my beautiful daughter seems so lost and out of control. I hate how rotten I end up feeling about myself, for the way she is able to goad me into responding in anger. I'm not proud of myself at all. Physically, I feel awful. I have been so stressed all day. My muscles are all knotted, my head hurts, I ache all over, I'm totally drained and I'm pretty sure my blood pressure has been up all day. And as for the diet....forget that. Stress makes me eat and today was no exception. I didn't overeat, I just ate fatty, comfort foods.

I have been praying all day, but I just don't have any sense of peace. If you feel led to pray, I'd be grateful.

Sleep deprivation, Diets and Amusement Parks

2004-06-10T05:13:00.000-05:00

No guarantees of coherency this morning. It's early. I'm tired. I wish I was still asleep. Tim's alarm going off at 4:30, followed by his actually getting up and preparing for work, left me awake and unable to drift off again. So, I blog.

Had a busy couple of days. Tuesday evening I went to my first First Place meeting. Don't know what First Place is? From what I can tell it's Weight Watchers with a healthy serving of God thrown in. The actually food exchanges and the advice we were given in the first session are very close to the WW program, but beyond that, First Place ministers to the spiritual and emotional person as well as the physical. I didn't get my books yet so this week of trying to learn and follow the plan is going to be interesting. It would be easy to get discouraged and give up trying.....especially when I have this attitude about dieting where though I need to, I don't want to. So far I'm doing kind of so-so at it.

Megan's friend, Mackenzie, spent the night on Tuesday. She is a very nice girl, loaded with manners, respectful, and while she wears nice clothes with all the right brand names on them, she is not all wrapped up in material things and she encourages Megan to behave better (not a single fight did we have while Mackenzie was here). She stands out from Megan's usual group of friends who, while not exactly "bad," have a very materialistic, me-first worldly take on things. Mackenzie also comes from an intact home, which is highly unusual among Megan's friends. In fact, the only other one of her friends that I can think of that has both parents in the home (and married to each other) has told Megan that her parents are "happy" but date other people as well. I hope we see more of Mackenzie around here.

Yesterday I took the girls to the school picnic at the local amusement park, Idlewild. It was sooooo hot. How hot was it? When I stopped at Wal-mart for sun screen I saw an egg that had been dropped on the pavement. It wasn't sitting there sizzling, but it was definitely working on being cooked. Following two 12 yr olds around all day left me feeling the same way. Other than the heat, it was a really good day. The girls had a blast and so did I. We are anxiously awaiting the paper's arrival this afternoon because we stopped for a snack before leaving the park last night and as the girls sat on the side of a fountain enjoying ice cream and holding the stuffed animals they won, the photographer from the local paper took their picture and got their names. He told them they'd be in today's paper. They are so excited.

Do You Speak My Language?

2004-06-08T16:00:00.000-05:00

The last time I was at Barnes & Noble I picked up a handy little book that offers English/Pittsburghese translations. You see, in theory those of us who live in and around Pittsburgh speak the English language, but in reality we often use words and pronounciations heard nowhere else on earth. So, I thought I'd share some of them with you just for fun or in case I have use them so you'll have a clue what I'm talking about.

Ahia: The state west of Pennsylvania; also a major thoroughfare into the city. "Morning rush-hour traffic is always heavy on East Ahia."

Alright: Well, fine; used most often as a reply to "How are you?" "Alright."

Anymore: Signifies a prevailing condition or situation, as in "Anymore there's so many new buildings, you can't tell which is which."

Arn: Iron, as in pressing clothing, a metal or a popular local brew, Iron City Beer. "There's nothing like a cold Arn."

Babushka: A colorful, patterned scarf, commonly worn on the head by women while shopping or spring cleaning. (Not so common these days.)

Bahks: A container, usually cardboard; sometimes the act of packing a container, as in "Most downtown stores will bahks gifts at Christmas."

Cahch: A piece of furniture usually found in the livingroom. "Dad's asleep on the cahch again."

City Chicken: Has nothing to do with chicken; instead, a combination of breaded veal and pork skewered, breaded and simmered in chicken broth.

Couttent: Could not, as in "I couttent make it on time."

Cupboard: A closet for storing coats, hats, babushkas, etc. "Hang your coat in the cupboard."

Dawn: A popular man's name-Don or Donald. "Dawn and Rawn are still good friends."

Dittent: Did not, as in "I dittent do my homework."

Filum: Used in most cameras, essential to good vacations. "Make sure we have filum in the camera."

Grinny: A small wild animal common in Pennsylvania; also known as a chipmunk.

Gumbans: Pieces of soft elastic rubber, occasionally used to keep trouser cuffs out of bicycle chains, or papers from flying around in your briefcase. "Where are the gumbans and paper clips?"

I 'n near: Eye and Ear Hospital or doctor.

In regards to: A wordy expression, attempting to make the speaker sound intelligent, as in "In regards to the recent speculative activity on Wall Street..."

Jaggers: Thorns.

Jynt Igl: A popular local grocery chain also known as Giant Eagle.

Leave: Let or allow, as in "If you clean your room, Mom will leave you go to the movies."

Nebby: Nosey, as in "Aunt Edie is so nebby nobody can stand her."

Needs: Used for "needs to be" as in "The car needs washed."

Pensivania: The state Pittsburgh is located in.

Redd up: Clean or tidy an area, as in "Quick, redd up the house, Mom is coming."

MORE TO COME.

Playing with Fire

2004-06-08T07:24:00.000-05:00

Literally.

We did a lot of cleaning up around the yard on Sunday, including cutting back all the weeds that had overtaken the garden plot. All the cuttings, some scrap wood and who knows what else was piled in a corner of the garden for later burning because by law we can only burn on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays between 8:00 a.m. and dusk.....and then only if there is no burning ban.

Woo-hoo! Today is burn day. Matt and I get the job by default. Tim is a pyromaniac who has raised fire-building to a dangerous artform. All of his fires involve accelerants and reach near mythic proportions. They all also cause me to worry about his safety in near mythic proportions. Thanks to the burning restrictions he is rarely home when it's okay to have fires, so Matt and I have the job.

I've already laid down the law to my disappointed son. No accelerants. He is taking after his dad in the daredevil department. The difference is that Tim, while a bit of a daredevil, is careful and attentive to detail and not at all stupid about what he does. Matt, is inexperienced, a little careless, lacking in common sense at times and he has the attention span of a gnat.

I do not want to entertain the local fire department for lunch.

Viewed Earlier from the Swing

2004-06-07T08:30:00.000-05:00

The sun is shining for the first time in several days. It's warm (also for the first time in several days), the birds are singing, the bees are buzzing (thankfully not too close to where I am sitting), the kitties are chasing each other through the flowers and the kids are not up yet. I am just enjoying it all.

Soon enough I will have to delve into my adventurous and thrilling plans for the day.....sorting through heaping mountains of truly odiferous laundry (that may or may not be a breeding ground for new lifeforms) without the aid of gloves or natives to do it for me, seeing that it gets purified and then crossing the grassy plain to hang it out in the sun to dry; taming the wild bush known as "the yard" with the dreaded shin-chipping weedwhacker; bouncing through the great wilderness (have you ever driven on the roads in Pennsylvania?) to deliver young native peoples to their destinations; deciphering hieroglyphics to unlock the secret of the recently purchased iced tea machine; and so much more. Indiana Jones, eat your heart out.

Wrapping Up

2004-06-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

Day 40: Living with Purpose
There are many "good" things you can do, but God's purposes are the five essentials you must do.

You Need a Life Purpose Statement:

~Summarizes God's purposes for your life.
~Points the direction of your life.
~Defines "success" for you.
~Clarifies your roles.
~Expresses your shape.

Questions to Consider in Preparing a LPS:

~What will be the center of my life (worship)?
~What will be the character of my life (discipleship)?
~What will be the contribution of my life (ministry)?
~What will be the communication of my life (mission)?
~What will be the community of my life (fellowship)?

Question to Consider: When will I take the time to write down my answers to Life's Five Great Questions? When will I put my purpose on paper?

I plan to begin working on it today.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, that's it. The 40 Days of Purpose are over. What did I get out of it? Maybe not as much as someone working through it for the first time. There was really very little in the book that was new to me. I think it served more as a way to get me focusing on God again and thinking about things a little bit differently. The purpose I feel like I've seen the most growth in during the 40 days was fellowship. Going into this I was hurting and not at all trusting of relationships with other believers. Working through all of this and having to be a part of a small group has helped me do a great deal of healing and I now look forward to forming relationships in the church.

Do I recommend reading the book? Yeah, I guess I do. There are some very good lessons, but I'd also caution anyone that isn't further along in their discipleship to take it with a grain of salt, ask lots of questions of more mature believers and to cross reference the scriptures used. Sometimes I felt they were bent just a bit to fit what Rick Warren wanted to say or that he used a particular translation over another to make it say what he wanted. It was kind of simplistic and now and then trite, but it does get you thinking and it is probably a very effective tool for new believers.

Day 38 and 39

2004-06-06T17:09:00.000-05:00

Day 39: Balancing Your Life

My Five Purposes:
~To love God through worship.
~To show love for others through ministry.
~To share God's love through evangelism.
~To identify with God's church through fellowship.
~To grow to maturity through discipleship.

Keeping these five purposes in balance is not easy. We tend to overemphasize the purposes we feel most passionate about and neglect the others. Churches do the same thing.

How to Stay Balanced and On Track:
~Accountability with a small group or spiritual partner.
~Regular spiritual check-ups. Evaluate yourself periodically.
~Record progress in a personal journal.
~Pass on what you know to others.

*We pass on what we learn because not only does God want us to live out his purposes, he also wants us to help others do the same.

Question to Consider: Which of the four activities will I begin in order to stay on track and balance God's five purposes for my life?

I have a small group, I'm always evaluating myself and I keep a journal (outside of my blog) so it would seem I need to work on passing on what I know. To some extent I did that when I taught youth, but evangelism is what we're talking about here and that is a weak area for me. I need to pray for two things. Opportunities to share and the courage to act on them.

Day 38: Becoming a World-class Christian
You have a choice to make.
Are you going to be a world-class Christian or a worldly Christian?

Worldly Christians look to God primarily for personal fulfillment. They are saved but self-centered. Their faith is about how can God make their lives more comfortable.

World-class Christians know they were saved to serve. They are excited about the privilege of being used by God.

How to Think Like a World-class Christian:
~Shift from self-centered thinking to other-centered thinking.
~Shift from local thinking to global thinking.
~Shift from "here and now" thinking to eternal thinking.
~Shift from thinking of excuses to thinking of creative ways to fulfill your commission.

Question to Consider: What steps can I take to prepare to go on a short-term missions experience in the next year?

Since I'm new to the church we're attending, I'm not very familiar with how things work. So, I guess the best first step for me would be to start asking around. I've been on two short-term mission trips and so has Tim. We both came away from those experiences knowing that we have a call to do that type of thing whenever possible. And while we are not sure we are called to it, seeing ourselves in the mission field for longer periods at some point is not a real stretch of our imaginations.

Celebrating 40 Days of Purpose

2004-06-06T16:40:00.000-05:00

Today was the wrap up on the 40 Days of Purpose campaign at church (even though I am behind on posting, I have finished reading the book). It was good. Actually, it was great. The church put on a western barbeque after the second service that all anyone had to do was sit back and enjoy. The food was catered. There was a band, games for the kids, horseshoes, one of those moonwalk thingys, horse rides, volleyball, etc. Tim said the pastor told him close to 250 had signed up to attend, but over 450 had been served!

Tim and Matt were in church for the first time in a few weeks. I am so glad they went. It was the kick off for the new Sunday School quarter and we all went for the first time at this church. Matt and Megan really liked their classes. Tim and I picked the wrong one for us, I think, but everyone in the class was very nice and welcoming. In fact, everything seemed to be falling into place today and we were greeted by a lot of new people and talked to some familiar faces. It did a lot to lift Tim's spirits. The kids would have gone to youth group for the first time tonight, but it was canceled because of all the other activity.

I am very much hoping that we've found our new church home. I am beginning to get involved in other groups (women's ministry and First Place)and we are beginning to talk of things in the future. Do we have a close community there? No, but it's a big church. It's going to take time and we'll have to connect with folks through smaller groups. In the meantime, we are atleast in a church with a right attitude. Ministry and missions are what's important. They don't seem to get bogged down in the small stuff or egos of the leadership. Tim and I appreciate that VERY much.

Anyway, wanted to thank all of you who have been praying for all of us, Tim in particular and our whole situation. I know that paved the way for today.

2004-06-05T14:27:00.000-05:00

It's a cold....ok, so it's not cold. It just feels that way after getting used to temperatures in the 70's and 80's. How about it's a slightly chilly, rainy Saturday. My plans to forage through two community-wide garage sales were squashed. Not much fun in it when you're dripping wet and your teeth are chattering. Instead, I've spent most of the day reading and I finally watched Disney's Haunted Mansion. The family got it for me back around Mothers' Day because the Haunted Mansion is my favorite ride at Disney World. It's a pretty fun movie and I admit it, I jumped once or twice. Usually when Ramsley would unexpectedly pop up. That dude is freaky!

The PDL group was good last night. Tim didn't make it home from work in time to go so I went by myself. It's too bad he is missing so much. I am making a connection with the other couple that's there and it is really nice to be reestablishing the relationship with Tim's sister and her husband.....and taking it to a new level as Christians. It looks like we're going to continue on as a group in the fall, meeting maybe every other week instead of weekly. A goal for then is to bring unsaved couples into the group. With that in mind, I suggested we try the Andy Griffith bible studies. They are sound, but not so deep as to scare anyone away, and hey, they are fun. I've done some of them before. They liked the idea so well, they are talking about pitching the idea to the pastor and maybe getting the whole church involved in it somehow. Wow. A whole church searching for the Mayberry in their souls. Now that would be cool.

Day 37: Sharing Your Life Message

Your life message includes 4 parts:
~Your Testimony
~Your Life Lessons
~Sharing Your Godly Passions
~The Good News

Question to Consider: As I reflect on my personal story, who does God want me to share it with?

A friend from work comes to mind specifically and in general I'd have to say he wants me to share it with anyone he presents me with the opportunity to share it with.

Day 36: Made for a Mission
God is at work in the world and he wants you to join him.

The Importance of Your Mission:
~It's a continuation of Jesus' mission on earth.
~It's a wonderful privilege. It's an honor to be used by God.
~Telling others how they can have eternal life is the greatest thing you can do for them.
~It has eternal significance.
~It gives your life meaning.
~God's timetable for history's conclusion is connected to the completion of our commission.

What It Costs:
~You must abandon your agenda and accept God's agenda for your life. If you commit to fulfilling your mission in life no matter what the cost, you will experience the blessing of God in ways few people ever do.

Question to Consider: What fears have kept me from fulfilling the mission God gave me to accomplish? What keeps me from telling others the Good News?

Shyness, which is nothing more than a fear of what people will think of you and/or of failing. I worry that I don't have what it takes, or that I'll screw it up, or sound stupid, or that I'll blow a relationship.

Which LOTR Character Are You?

2004-06-05T14:20:00.000-05:00

I AM GANDALF
A wandering spirit caring for a multitude of just concerns, you are an instrumental power in many of the causes around you.

Link found via the Proverbial Wife.

In the Garden

2004-06-04T06:57:00.000-05:00

Warning: this is pretty long.

Sitting out on the porch swing this morning watching the world wake up, I felt the closeness of God. Why is that? Why, I wondered, does nearly everyone say they feel closest to God when they are outside, in close contact with nature? Why isn't our answer church? Or when we're reading our bible? Or any of a hundred more "spiritual" times and places? I have a theory.....

First of all, there is the fact that nature is God's creation. He created all that we see. When we are outside, observing the wonders of what he has made and seeing how intricate and extensive it is, how it all works together...how can we not worship and praise the Creator? Consider verse 2 of How Great Thou Art:

When thru the woods and forest glades I wander
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees,
When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur
And hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze,

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to thee:
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to thee:
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Secondly, in all of creation a garden (Eden) was the place God lavished his attention on. It was his focus. It was his special place. He spoke everything else in the universe into being, but Genesis 2:8 says he planted a garden in Eden. Like any gardener, he planned it, planted it, watched it, waited on it, and tended it. God invested himself in his garden. Why? Because he was creating a home for his most beloved creation....Mankind. Eden was to be our home and the place God met with us. Genesis 3:8 says they (Adam and Eve) heard God walking about in the garden. God spent time there. It was his special place. The garden still is.

In The Garden

I come to the garden alone,
While the dew is still on the roses;
And the voice I hear,
Falling on my ear,
The Son of God discloses.

And He walks with me,
and He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own;
And the joy we share
as we tarry there
None other has ever known.

Third, when we are in the garden, or camping in a forest, or fishing on a lake, or sitting on a porch swing watching the first rays of sunlight peep over the treetops while birds serenade the new day and kittens roll about one's feet....we stop. We pause in our busyness and notice what is good. Even God did that after each day of creation...God saw that it was good. We appreciate what's around us. We enjoy it. We're thankful.

Now the trick is to find that feeling no matter where you are. Garden moments happen all the time. They may be fleeting, but they are there. To experience the joy and peace of such moments, remember how you behave in the garden: Stop. Look around. Really notice what's there. Thank God. Acknowledge that what he has done is good.

For the Beauty of the Earth

For the beauty of the earth,
For the glory of the skies,
For the love which from our birth
Over and around us lies:

Lord of all,
to Thee we raise
This our hymn of grateful praise.

Strange

2004-06-03T20:33:00.000-05:00

I met with my ladies group from the old church tonight. I haven't attended since we left the church. I'm not upset with any of the ladies (or anyone else for that matter) so thought I'd give it a try since I had the evening free.

It was kind of strange. Everyone was really nice and it was nice to see them, but..... I'd guess that 90% of the conversation was about things going on in that church. Uh, kind of off-putting for me or I'd guess anyone else that would happen to join the group but doesn't attend the church. Also on my mind, probably because of today's earlier PDL posts, is the fact that within 5 minutes of being with them I felt the need to put the mask on. None of them are willing to be vulnerable. They all have on these happy faces. Everything is great. The only thing anyone ever shares or asks prayer for is health issues. Sickness is acceptable. Anything else? Not gonna hear about it. I know I'm not supposed to compare, but having experienced at least a little more honesty in our PDL group, I now know what I've been missing. I don't want to go back.

Everyone wants me to keep attending. They've already ordered me a book for the next study which begins in two weeks. I've got to tell them I don't think it's going to happen. I don't like the study they just finished and they are going to do another one by the same author. I am also wanting to join a First Place weight loss group at the new church. I don't think I could keep up with the work load from two groups. And honestly, I've reached a certain level of peace with how things are. I think going back to the group would just muddy things up for me again.

SCHOOL'S OUT!

2004-06-03T13:53:00.000-05:00

Giddiness reigned this morning as I led my elementary students in a wild, foot-stomping, head-banging, bus-rocking, ear-splitting, dance of joy! It was awesome....and contagious. By the time we were taking everyone home, about half of the other drivers were "doin' the dance" when they passed me.

We had a little party at the garage before we had to take the kids home. Lots of fun. Lots of good food. I took wings from Dino's, which is another part of local culture. If you ever come visit you have to have Joioi's pizza and Dino's wings and/or ribs. I'll leave the decision on whether or not to have a bottle of Rolling Rock up to you.

So, now I'm home and beginning the process of stripping away the stress and easing into the mellow freedom of Summer. And yes, I have already spent time on the porch swing, cuddling the kitties (who are doing very well) and visiting with two neighborhood boys who stopped to chat. The house could use some work and the laundry's piling up, but it will be there tomorrow. Today I am taking time out, searching for the Mayberry in my soul. Tomorrow, after a full night's sleep (and maybe a good part of the morning, too), is soon enough to face the house.

Day 35: God's Power in Your Weakness
"God purposely chose....what the world considers weak in order to shame the powerful."

A weakness is any limitation that you have no power to change.

God is not limited by our limitations. He enjoys putting his great power into ordinary containers.

God will use us if we allow him to work through our weaknesses. And how do we do that?
~Admit your weaknesses.
~Be content with your weaknesses. Contentment is an expression of faith in the goodness of God.
~Honestly share your weaknesses. The more you let down your guard, take off your mask and share your struggles, the more God can use you to serve others.
~Glory in your weaknesses. Don't pose as self-confident and invincible, see yourself as a trophy of grace.

Question to Consider: Am I limiting God's power in my life by trying to hide my weaknesses? What do I need to be honest in order to help others?

I was very guilty of wearing a mask at our old church. I didn't want to, but I always felt there was this expectation to be "just so" among the people there and judgement if you weren't. I saw it happen to others so on went the mask. I don't get a sense of that in the church we are attending now, but I haven't really gotten to know anyone yet. I tend to be kind of shy (yes, it's true) and need to know people fairly well before I trust them with my feelings. I know I'm nothing without God and I've trusted him to use me to do a lot of things I never thought I'd do. I guess I need to just lay it out there with people and trust him in that, too. Unfortunately, that's easier said than done.

Day 34: Thinking Like a Servant
To be a servant requires a change in your attitudes.

*Servants think more about others than themselves.
*Servants think like stewards not owners. You must settle the issue of money in your life.
*Servants think about their work, not what others are doing. They do not compare, criticize or compete with other servants or ministries.
*Servants base their identity in Christ. They remember they are loved and accepted by grace. They don't have to prove their worth.
*Servants think of ministry as an opportunity, not an obligation. They enjoy helping others.

Question to Consider: Am I usually more concerned about being served or finding ways to serve?

In all honesty, I spend way too much time worrying about what the church is doing/not doing for me.

Blog, blog....blah.

2004-06-01T20:22:00.001-05:00

It's a good thing the end of the school year and a slowing down of our schedules is looming. I'm so frustrated with my blogging because I have all these half-formed "profound" thoughts swirling around in my head, but I just can't seem to grasp them and bring them to fruition at the moment. I'm too busy stressing over who has to be where (and when) and how am I going to coordinate two games on the same night and all the housework that has been going undone and why won't my kids lift a finger till I blow a gasket? I need a day or two to stay in my pajamas, nibble comfort foods, nap as much as I want (maybe on the swing?), and lose myself in a good book (the swing again?) . Maybe Friday?

Day 33: How Real Servants Act

Your primary ministry should be in the area of your shape, but your secondary service is wherever you are needed at the moment.

You can tell a servant by what they do.
~Real servants make themselves available to serve.
~Real servants pay attention to needs.
~Real servants do their best with what they have.
~Real servants do every task with equal dedication.
~Real servants are faithful to their ministry.
~Real servants maintain a low profile.

Question to Consider: Which of the ix characteristics of real servants offers the greatest challenge to me?

Remaining faithful. I tend to have a short attention span and while I start out strong, if a ministry goes on for an extended period it's tough for me to follow through.

Day 32: Using What God Gave You
He shaped you for a purpose, and he expects you to make the most of what you have been given.

Discovering Your Shape:
~Assess your gifts and abilities.
~Consider your heart and personality.
~Examine your experiences and extract the lessons you have learned.

*We are to cultivate our gifts and abilities.
*If you don't utilize the abilities and skills God has given you, you will lose them.
*Whatever gifts you have been given can be enlarged and developed through practice.

Question to Consider: How can I make the best use of what God has given me?

A Nice Weekend

2004-05-31T06:12:00.000-05:00

I hope you've had a good weekend. We have.

Saturday found Tim and Matt working at the mine up near Jennerstown again. They completed the original work last weekend. This was a new job. My friend, Helen, drove down from New Florence in the moring. She brought us a black kitten in exchange for a white one. While she was here we made the rounds of some garage sales, walked through the craft booths downtown at Latrobe's 150th birthday celebration and had lunch (the world's best pizza) at Joioi's. If you ever make it to Latrobe, I'll take you there. It's as much a part of the local culture as Rolling Rock beer, Arnold Palmer and golf, and St. Vincent College.

Sunday found us up and out the door early. We had an appointment to get the car inspected at 9:00.....plenty of time to get it done before church. Or so we thought. They found something in the wheels that had to be fixed for the car to pass. We couldn't put it off as the inspection expires today. They didn't get it done until noon. We missed church. I was really disappointed. We walked to a nearby restaurant for breakfast, then browsed through Barnes & Noble, where the kids each got a book and I found a bargain book about front porches! Matt went to a friend's for a while and then a sweet 16 party for his prom date. Megan went to a friend's for a while then they ended up here. Somewhere in the middle of all that, Tim and I went and bought a new liner and a set of steps for the pool. Now we have to hope the guy who installs the liner can get to us soon.

Today we are supposed to cook out with my mom and John (we haven't seen them since they got home from their vacation) but it is raining. The news says it will quit soon.

40 DAYS OF PURPOSE
Day 31: Understanding Your Shape

Applying Your Abilities:
~these are the talents you are born with
~they all come from God
~they all can be used for God's glory
~what you are able to do, God wants you to do

Using Your Personality:
~personality will affect how and where you use your gifts and abilities
~there is no right or wrong temperament for ministry. God made them all.

Employing Your Experiences:
~Six types of experiences....family, educational, vocational, spiritual, ministry and painful.
~the experiences you have resented or regretted the most are the ones God wants to use to help others. They are your ministry!

Question to Consider: What God-given ability or personal experience can I offer to my church?

I have to think about this one a little.

Day 30: Shaped for Serving God

What is your SHAPE?

Spiritual gifts
Heart
Abilities
Personality
Experience

Question to Consider: In what way can I see myself passionately serving others and loving it?

I love working with youth, organizing/planning events, working at events. I've been on a couple of mission trips and loved that and would like to do more. I think I would love helping "the least of these" no matter where it lands me.

Memorial Day

2004-05-31T06:10:00.000-05:00

I remember. Thank you.

Purpose #4--You Were Shaped for Serving God

2004-05-28T11:49:00.000-05:00

Day 29: Accepting Your Assignment
You were put on earth to make a contribution.

~You were created to serve God.
~You were saved to serve God.
~You are called to serve God.
~You are commanded to serve God.

What matters is not the duration of your life, but the donation of it. Not how long you lived, but how you lived.

Question to Consider: What is holding me back from God's call to serve him?

I was going to say nothing because I love to serve, but after thinking about it, that isn't quite true because I'm not doing a lot of serving right now. Why? Busy schedules.

PDL Tonight

2004-05-28T11:22:00.000-05:00

Our PDL group meets tonight. Tim is going to miss it. He has to drive into Pittsburgh to meet my mom and John at the airport. They get home tonight from their 3-week vacation. They picked up an RV at the factory in Kansas City on May 8 and had 3 weeks to deliver it to the dealer in Alaska. It was a special offer because they had rented one in Alaska a few years ago. Anyway, after weeks in the Canadian West, they are coming home.

It's our turn to provide the "snack" for the group. That's in quotes because when Tim's sister and her husband kicked the thing off, they kind of set the standard by providing a light supper. Last week we had enchiladas and some other Mexican thing. That seemed to go over real well with everyone, including all the kids, so tonight I'm taking all the fixings to assemble your own fresh tacos. I'm also taking nachos and fizzy watermelon jello. I'm betting my kids will want to go for the food.

One of the kitties has gone to his new owner. The other two are driving me nuts. They are the sweetest things, always wanting attention, but that can cause some problems.... Every time we get in the car to leave they follow us and dash underneath, which means we have to coax them out and chase them away. They will follow anyone that comes near them. I'm afraid they will wander off and someone will keep them or they will get hurt. Last night while we were at Megan's soccer game they followed the neighbor's grandson around while he was cutting grass and then tried to swim in their in-ground pool. This morning I opened the door to let the dogs out and was startled by a hissing kitten hanging off the screen at face level! They prance around as if they owned the place and maybe they do. We are all catering to them and the poor dogs give them a wide berth.

The Journey Five

2004-05-28T10:56:00.000-05:00

Rodney over at The Journey is providing a list of his own questions each week to take the place of the defunct Friday Five.

1. Did you have a favourite teddy bear and what was its name? Actually, I had a Raggedy Ann doll and her name was....Annie.

2. Who was your first 'best friend'? Denise. She lived across the street from us when we were both too little to cross the street by ourselves. We'd ride bikes, play dolls and dress-up and all the normal things little girls do, but she did it on the sidewalk on her side of the street and I did it on my side. About once a week our moms would get us together on the same side of the street.

3. What did you want to be when you grew up? Oh, gosh. I wanted to be an archeologist, a zoologist, an architect, a pilot, an on-air radio personality, a social worker, a writer, a photographer (think Ansel Adams, NOT the person taking baby pictures at Wal-Mart), an FBI agent, Evil Kenevil (spelling?), or an anthropologist.

4. What do you miss most about your childhood? The innocence. That ability to be free from worry and responsibility and just enjoy life.

5. Where did you live during most of your childhood? I spent all of my childhood in Pennsylvania, but in several different parts of it. My dad was in wildlife management so we moved around for that a lot. My two favorite places where a Pennsylvania Game Commission pheasant farm and a wildlife preserve owned by the Mellon family.

A Couple More Days

2004-05-27T09:57:00.000-05:00

Bob over at Mr. Standfast has some issues with and promised not to post on the PDL any more. Check it out and find out why...maybe even throw in your 2 cents.

Day 28: It Takes Time
There are no shortcuts to maturity.

Why does it take so long?
~We're slow learners.
~We have a lot to unlearn.
~We're afraid to humbly face the truth about ourselves.
~Growth is often painful and scary.
~Habits take time to develop.

Don't get in a hurry:
~Believe God is working in your life even if you can't feel it.
~Keep a journal of lessons learned.
~Be patient with God and with yourself.
~Don't get discouraged.

Question to Consider: In what area of my spiritual growth do I need to be more patient and persistent?

Relationships.

Day 27: Defeating Temptation
There is always a way out.

~Refocus your attention on something else.
~Reveal your struggle to a godly friend or support group.
~Resist the Devil.
~Realize your vulnerability.

Question to Consider: Who could I ask to be a spiritual partner to help me defeat a persistent temptation by praying for me?

I have someone.

40 Days of Purpose

2004-05-26T20:46:00.000-05:00

Day 26: Growing Through Temptation
Every temptation is an opportunity to do good.

Temptation is Satan's primary weapon to destroy you, but God uses it to develop you. Every time you choose to do good instead of sin, you are growing in the character of Christ.

Overcoming Temptation:
~Refuse to be intimidated
~Recognize your pattern of temptation and be prepared for it
~Request God's help

Question to Consider: What Christlike character quality can I develop by defeating the most common temptation I face?

If I can learn to resist the temptation to procrastinate, I'd have a lot less stress in my life which would give me a lot more peace and joy and in turn would most likely do a lot for my self-control, patience, kindness and gentleness.

Day 25: Transformed by Trouble
God has a purpose behind every trouble.

God does not cause our troubles, but he does allow them in order to build our character.

Responding like Jesus:
~Remember that God's plan is good
~Rejoice and give thanks
~Refuse to give up

Question to Consider: What problem in my life has caused the greatest growth in me?

When my dad's cancer came back the third (and final) time. It was an extremely difficult time for my family and it is when I turned to the church and accepted Jesus as my Savior. More recently I'd say it's been all that I've gone through at our old church. I'm not sure yet, what work God brought through that pain, but judging by how intense it was, I'm sure he was teaching me.

Day 24: Transformed by Truth
To become like Jesus, we must fill our lives with his Word.

Abiding in God's Word includes 3 things:
~Accepting the authority of the Bible
~Assimilating its truth
~Applying its principles

Question to Consider: What has God already told me in his Word that I haven't started doing yet?

I'm thinking that it's dying to self and making him the absolute Lord of my life. There are still a lot of things that I hang onto and don't want to give over to him.

The Kitties

2004-05-26T20:41:00.000-05:00

The kitties have homes! One is staying here (yeah, I'm a big softie), one is going to a friend of mine, and one is already gone to a woman from work. Two days has made a big difference. They are no longer terrified of everything (just the dogs) and have shown themselves to be very affectionate and playful.

My God is Bigger than That

2004-05-26T09:30:00.001-05:00

I stand corrected on having more free time this week. I'm filling in on a kindergarden route for a woman whose daughter is having a baby today! My evening was suddenly freed, though, so I am planning to catch up the 40 Days posts tonight.

In the meantime, here are the words to a song by an awesome Christian rock band I know...

Bigger Than That
by Jeff Keys of The Witness Protection Program

I have been a liar so long
it's hard to know the truth
I have been a foolish man
who's too untrue to you
I have been a sinner
and I've rarely been a saint
but I know that you still love me
and you'll wipe my sin away
that is why I have to say
I give my life to you this day and
my God is bigger than life to me
and yet, he'll meet you where you're at
he'll lead you personally
that is why my God is very big
I have been on fire for moments
and I go to sleep for days
I've been tempted by the darkness
lost searching for your ways
I have been a pauper
though my GIFT is very great
I have felt the touch of your love
and that's where I want to stay
I learn a little more each day
about the peace of life your way
and no power on earth is greater
than his love, it's enough
it's better than the temptor
could think of, could dream of
I look into the mirror
and I don't like what I see
I see a past still present
and it's lookin' back at me
I know my God is faithful
he'll supply my every need
if I reach up to my Father high
from down upon my knees
he'll give me strength to beat the sin
and my soul will be free in him
my God is bigger than that
he's bigger than life to me
and yet, he'll meet you where you're at
he'll lead you personally
that is why my God is very
that is why my God is very
that is why my God is very big